I used to have Social Anxiety ( I was diagnosed with it) but grew out of it! How?

Well 1st off, I know that it was instilled in me during my upbringing to care about what others thought. So I was taught to feel that others are constantly judging me and to care about their thougths. But later I realized that the only person's opinion that matters is my own.

Then I just started to realize that most people are too self-absorbed to really care about my every nuance and that those that do are just really just insecure about themselves and look for fault and bully others to feel better about themselves. So now I just do my best and have integrity and confidence in my actions.

And the bullies....well they just moved on to others that are more vulnerable now that I don't pay attention to them! Bullies always prey on those weaker!

I'm not sure if I'm totally cured and will always probably have predisposition towards social anxiety except now I have tools/skill to deal with it!

True Story!
lagatta lagatta
46-50, F
1 Response Aug 21, 2014

Hello,

That is awesome that you feel confident on having the tools and skill to deal with anxiety. I have learned that we all have anxiety but its a matter of how dominant it is in our lives, unfortunately my level of anxiety is inhibiting many things in my life and causing a great deal of pain. I slowly starting to learn to cope with it :). You say you are not totally cured, I am curious about how your anxiety is now compared to before. Even though you may not be completely cured, do you feel like SA still inhibits you or are you able to lead a somewhat normal life?

Hi Anthion! I'm generally able to live a normal life. I used to be consumed with it though! So there is hope that it will get better for you too. I found that at one point my anxiety peaked to a point that I couldn't deal with life and I became so desperate that I really worked hard to get better. So for the last 10 yrs. I've been slowly getting better but I also have life experience and wisdom that come with age and time and that has helped tremendously.

I'm not sure about you, but a lot of my anxiety came from feeling judged and wanting to be perfect. I always used to imagine that people were talking behind my back. I was raised in a very negative and emotionally abusive home and truth be told my family members did always judge me and talk behind my back so it's something that I learned. But I found that it also transfered to my real life and I just constantly lived in fear. I had problems making friends, at work, etc. And the bullying also continued in my life in general. I think I came across as passive and weak and was victim to bullies. But that's NOT the case anymore.

I hope this helps and please let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. Take care and remember........you can overcome this! You have the right attitude!

Actually it's probably is more like the last 5 years. It took a while to get a handle on it but 5 years is not so bad. And now a days, if you ever met me in person you'd have no idea I ever suffered from social anxiety. Although I have to admit that every once in a while I do catch myself doing a "performance review." I don't know if you can relate but it's when after a certain social interaction I catch myself going over every little detail of the conversation and feel embarasement/shame for not having dealt with it well enough. I'll think "I could have said this better....I could have done that better....or that person must think I'm an idiot" etc. But when I catch myself doing that I get back on tack fairly quickly, And now that my most of my social anxiety is gone I am way more asertive and get **** done! lol

Hello again, thank you very much for sharing your story with me :). I can relate so much to what you have gone through. It helps fuel the tiny flare of hope I have inside of me when you say I can overcome this. I have this belief that I can overcome it without medication despite reading the contrary from other people. I think one of the keys is for people to learn to believe that overcoming Social Anxiety is possible; people should not limit their minds. I've been facing my fears in the past few months and I make insane progress to the point that I feel very comfortable and my anxiety is virtually non existent but somehow I eventually revert back, so I have been on this up and down roller coaster. Slowly but surely I am working more on my beliefs and my social behavior habit, I am creating a strategic plan to help me achieve lasting results. Seeing a therapist definitely has helped immensely. It makes happy to hear stories like yours, where you are able to reclaim your life from SA.

Again thank you for sharing, It helps not only me but other people that might read it :)