I wanted to write out my whole entire battle with social anxiety.
I remember it clearly the first day I chocked up I had cold palms and sweaty forehead, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest. First day of freshman year I walk into a class labeled "speech" thinking it's a typical side class for language arts boy was I wrong my teacher ms.d calls me to the very front of everyone .. Tell us about yourself she says but the words don't come out I just feel a rush of fire to my face and I am stuck. I had never in my life felt that feeling till that moment and ever since then it would be my life.
School from then on out was tough a lot of times I would try to make excuses to not go to school or just ditch class. My peers in speech started to notice how difficult a time I was having and before long I was an outcast. Speech was a total nightmare I would literally learn to write and deliver speeches on daily bases and to person who suffers from this would know that it was HELL. Before long I started to realize that this "feeling" would happen more outside of class random trips to the store or just talking to friends it was happening at least everyday. Confused by this I did plenty of research online to try to diagnose myself but nothing would prepare me for how bad it got. At one point I couldn't order food or have private conversation, be approached or just stared at. It was bad!! Sooner or later I left school it become a daily struggle to make it through the day so that's when I started homeschool leaving behind my few friends I managed to keep I was alone more then ever I felt like I had no one to turn to no one that could understand this odd thing that was happening to me. I was in pain and depressed I felt like nothing would ever change. as the months go by I tried working on myself forcing myself to confront everything that has happened and accept it for what it is. Recently I had got a job something that I never thought would be possible for me and I work cashier. I'm living this day by day but it has gotten better it's been 3 weeks since the last time I turned red and had anxiety and Ill take it. As of right now the story is still being written but the futures looking bright!
dassays dassays
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 22, 2014

You have made your own aversion therapy by going towards the fear. Acknowledge your own bravery and strength for taking that choice :)
Now try to learn to say you own name by practicing in the mirror. It is often the hardest thing, to learn to introduce yourself. 'Hello, my name is . . . . .. Pleased to meet you.'
You have come a long long way and you can do what you mean to do :)