This Things Killing Me

when i was starting school i was a bit shy i remember the first day i was really scared to meet every one but thats probly pretty normal. but what isnt normal is quiting ur job and not trying to get a job because you cant talk to anyone there. whenever i was at work i would just work no talk and i hated lunch because id have to see people. i think they thort i was rude, on drugs, really shy, or i felt sorry for myself for something. well i guess i do feel sorry for myself, i have this fkn disorder thats stopping me from living my life. family gatherings i fkn hate them, "oh so wat are you doing with yourself these days" umm im staying at home all day watching scarface then taking drugs so i can talk to my fkn friends. thats not wat i would say tho, id say somthing like "im looking for work at the moment and going out n stuff, yourself? when i first did research on this and i found out what i had i was so happy i was like im going to get cbt and be on meds but i havnt done **** yet but thats my fault i guess. im so stressed and i dont even have a job, going for smokes like every 20 mins n stuff. i have to kill this thing before it kills me.

 

astroboy astroboy
18-21, M
3 Responses Aug 15, 2007

haha I feel your pain. People often tend to think i am obnoxious, supercilious, scowling, serious etc....u can see where this list is going. but its only because I am terrified... but I can't let others know that, yes it kills me, but its either I be a hard-*** or some sap who seems lonely etc...

btw the whole 'pill' thing, don't bother with it. it treats the symptoms but it doesn;t cure the psychological part of it. which is... why do u have anxiety! therapists will teach u techniques on what to do if u feel stuck, or frozen or whatever it is u r suffering from. but pills..... just one big mask. ofc in some cases u do need it, but personally, for anxiety, techniques and talking are the way to go. And yes, dont sit there feeling sorry for yourself, your 20, your responsible for u, no one else is going to pick u up out of ur own s*it and get u the help. Just walking to the GP is the first step... u will feel so much relief, like WOW I ACTUALLY MADE A MOVE!

I know exactly what ur talking about. Sometimes i suffer from social anxiety but there are some certain occasions that trigger it. Try to be realistic and don't think too much about it, try to let the inner-you out. I know that some people think we r rude because we rarely talk to them, and others think we r too shy, okay that's the truth but they also have some negative habits and personalities. About the smoking part u mean cigs. or weed? (i do smoke alot, in fact right now i am high, but i found that pot makes me stressful and anxious so i smoke a lot but in little amounts) social anxiety is a motherf***** condition, ur the the only one capable of helping urself. U have to get ur guts to make urself do things that scares u, it is a slow process but i am getting better. BE PATIENT with urself and don't let anyone tell u that u can't do it. peace, Abdi.

HI THERE, I NO WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH SWEETIE HAVE LIVED WITH IT MY WHOLE LIFE AND A FEW YEARS AGO I FOUND SPIRITUALITY IE ANGELS, MEDITATION, ETC NOT EVERYONES CUP OF TEA I NO. I ALSO DO REIKI AND IT HAS HELPED SO MUCH. THE MEDS ARE ONLY TEMPORARY SO MAYBE NATURAL THERAPY WOULD BENEFIT MORE. SITTIN AROUND BEING ANGRY BOUT IT IS NOT GOING TO HELP YOU. DID IT FOR LONG ENOUGH MYSELF. GOOD LUCK!