When i was young i was a happy child who talked a lot and was sociable, But that all changed when i started my first year of primary school.
I was bullied constantly and abused both mentally and physically, The bullies turned everyone in the school against me, it was basicly a living hell.
After that i was home schooled because it got so bad, so i became even more isolated from people.
After that i just shut down emotionally and became timid when dealing with other people, people would not talk to me because i was socially awkard.
That was many years ago and i still feel disconnected from people around me and my own feelings, people describe me as "the quiet one" and i usually just feel like a bystander when im around people, even when im around my own family we just sit in awkward silence because i dont know what to around people say or how to express myself properly.
I hate being like this and desperately want to change i hate being the one who never speaks and being known as a wierdo, i want to have normal relaxed meaningful converstaions with people but it feels like i physically cant speak up.
I know other people probably go through things like this but i still think, why me?.
P.S. I am currently on Anti-Depressants.