Why Me?...

NO, YOU ARE DEFINTELY NOT WEIRD. I ALSO GO THROUGH THE SAME THINGS. I HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY TOO! WHICH I DESCRIBE AS ONE OF THE WORSTEST PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH IN THE WORLD. IT CAN GET VERY HARD. BECAUSE YOU WANT TO TALK AND BE FRIENDS WITH OTHERS, BUT ITS JUST SO HARD, AND SO SCARY TO DO. BUT U JUST DONT KNOW WHY ITS SO HARD. WHEN YOU LOOK AT OTHERS AND IT SEEM SO SIMPLE. I USALLY SAY THE SAME THING, WHY ME. YET I WOULDNT WISH IT ON NO ONE ELSE EITHER. NOT EVEN MY WORST ENEMY. BECAUSE IT DOESNT FEEL GOOD. BUT STILL HAVE FAITH AND HOPE, BECAUSE ONE DAY SOON IT WILL GET BETTER! ITS VERY HARD BUT I STILL HAVE FAITH THAT I WILL GET THROUGH THIS ONE DAY. I TS HARD FOR ME TO TALK WITH MY FAMILY AS WELL. I NEVER WANT TO VISIT OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS, DEEP INSIDE I DO, I JUST FEEL LIKE I CANT. ITS TO HARD FOR ME. I GET AFRAID WHEN SOMEONE COMES TO VISIT US. I PANIC. SO MOST OF THE TIME I WOULD STAY IN MY ROOM. IT HURTS, BUT IT WILL GET BETTER, IT HAS TOO!

I can relate because I was also a happy child who had friends and such, but in middle school I was bullied. So now I am a mess, and I am also on Anti-Deppressants. You say you are wierd, but you are not wierd. It's not you its the Social Anxiety thats controling you. I know that when you get better (believe that you will!) your personality will come out and shine, and youll be able to share yourself with whomever you choose!

Are you religious? I said a prayer for you, (and the rest of the people struggling on experience project) so keep fighting!

Hi, there: with respect, I wonder whether there is any long-term underlying issue bothering you (of which you may or may not be aware?)
It is often the case that personal psychological issues (note that I'm not labelling them as 'problems'),can manifest themselves so that others (for example,your bullies) can perceive them, even when your own family cannot. You write like a perfectly intelligent,balanced parson to me (as an ex Adult Education lecturer in Human Health, Biology & Psychology.lately as a Carer Service Officer in Mental Health Family support).
I tell you this because I had a great lack of self-confidence (but not self-esteem) when I was younger, caused, I now know, because of being the wrong gender- I've been through marriage,divorce, bringing up children on my own, uni as a mature student, then successfully pursued a professional career: it takes a belief in yourself, but you can only achieve this once you have 'faced your demons'. It IS scary, and takes a LOT of courage, but,once done, you find a strength in yourself you wouldn't believe you ever had before. Then you will have a valuable gift to give to others. The key is just being yourself, no matter what others may say. You are as good (perhaps better) than anyone else-think about, feel about it. Good luck!

i to feel the same i have never been in a relationship

Hi,

I just wanted to say that you should have patience and just find some people to hang out with. I've had the same feeling of being disconnected from people, and I still have it sometimes, even though I didn't go through an experience like yours. I still feel like I don't have the type of really meaningful relationships that people are supposed to create with each other. Now though I'm starting to feel like maybe thats the way its supposed to be in a way. I mean can we ever fully know another human being? I started hanging around this group of people even though I was the quiet one who was not really part of the group but over time I became comfortable around them. I don't have a real connection to all of them but there are one or two people that I feel I can have a real conversation with. So my advice is have patience and don't give up.

I also couldn't understand your situation any better. The worst part of it for me, is it comes and goes, minute to minute, hour to hour, or day to day. been tryin to explain it to myself for a long time, and only way i can describe it is if i have two different competing dominate nueropaths. because of this, people will meet the real me. open, talkative, always know what to say, make people laugh on cue. then the next day.. they meet the empty shell of that person. I'm quiet and very shy. the regular master of akwardness. Ever feel like you and you alone are responsible for the level of comfort in a large group of friends? I don't know why i cant be me 100% of the time. anyway, i feel for you..its extremely depressing and frustrating. Does serotonin really have that much to do with S.A.D.? or is it simply learned behavior and nothing else?

I also couldn't understand your situation any better. The worst part of it for me, is it comes and goes, minute to minute, hour to hour, or day to day. been tryin to explain it to myself for a long time, and only way i can describe it is if i have two different competing dominate nueropaths. because of this, people will meet the real me. open, talkative, always know what to say, make people laugh on cue. then the next day.. they meet the empty shell of that person. I'm quiet and very shy. the regular master of akwardness. Ever feel like you and you alone are responsible for the level of comfort in a large group of friends? I don't know why i cant be me 100% of the time. anyway, i feel for you..its extremely depressing and frustrating. Does serotonin really have that much to do with S.A.D.? or is it simply learned behavior and nothing else?

Hey, I saw that you play the bass guitar and immediately thought what a cool *** dude. I can't play anything. But I think that should speak for you. Most musicians are moody. I wish what happened to you didn't happen. You should have had a happy experince during those years. I always see people flocking around the music dude. Find your music buddies. The good kind not the ones who need to be out of their minds to function. Explore your abilities more. What are your interest? When I hear others talk about writing or they are in the theater. Man I can find something to talk about. So guess who most of my friends like to do. You guessed it. My passion, writing or working in the theater in some way or the other. Take baby steps when it comes to socializing. Join a band. Just get out there and see what your are capable of. Your might mess up a few times but keep trying. I had to do the same thing. Everyone messes up sometimes. I am very sorry that the people treated you so bad but they will one day face what you faced in some kind of way and they will immediately think of you when it happens. Be great from this date on. Remember small step but take the steps. Don't miss out on being an AWESOME PERSON.

Thank you. :)
I think im getting a bit better now.

Hi

I suffer from this social contact irritation thing too.My reason stems from being over weight from when I was 7 to 13.Within that interval I was humiliated so much that I really hated myself.As we all know children are cruel I was badly affected by this situation.Now I'm normal weight.But that fatty feeling and those words are always with me.Those feelings that overwhelmed me in that years turned out be fears of being judged harshly by others.I'm now nervous whenever I go out and feel like everyone is looking at me and gossiping about how I look.But I have a strategy now: I try to be here and now when I'm around people.I don't try to read their minds.I just concentrate on my own agenda.It works.Being mindful is a good way of this fight.I hope that we ll succeed.
Take care...