It's the worst when someone doesn't understand how you feel and just says "get over it"
like im sorry I can't answer the phone without panicking, I'm sorry it takes me 20 minutes to think of how to start a conversation, I'm sorry mom and dad, I'm sorry friends for not hanging out with you because I can't make myself participate in public activities without wanting to hide and run away , I just feel like I need to say sorry for everything.. ugh
zoe2929 zoe2929
16-17, F
6 Responses Oct 15, 2015

The only thing you need to feel sorry about is being apologetic. What's happening to you isn't hurting them. The best way to relax is to not give a damn. If you answer the phone or the door, don't care what that person thinks. Don't be afraid to be shy or not behave in a manner that you think is appropriate. Just hang loose and don't be concerned about your conduct. Let them worry about their's. It's YOUR home and YOUR phone.

The phrase "get over it" is probably the worst piece of advice you can give anyone! And then to think it's funny when your saying it is an even more destructive!

Zoe,
I know how you feel, up until I was 14, I had many of the same feelings. The feeling of self imposed isolation was the hardest part for me, I wanted to take part, but out of fear of saying the wrong thing or not being able to say anything, or being laughed at for saying something wrong. it was just easier to stay home or not put myself in a situation that I didn't feel comfortable in. I never had any problems with the phone, which I am grateful for, only with face to face encounters, but that was bad enough!

I was lucky, because I found a simple cure for my SA and was cured almost immediately when of all things I got glasses, it was miraculous! Within a few days I was much more confident and able to talk to basically anyone. When I told my eye doctor about it, he said that he had other patients that had the same thing happen and the studies he had read said that the consensus was that some people with SAD were helped because they felt that they could hide or were hiding behind their lenses, basically they felt as though a barrier was between themselves and those around them and that is exactly how I felt. Some people with SA are also helped by wearing sunglasses; it's not a permanent fix, but it does give a reprieve from the feeling of isolation.

Your still young and I hope you are able to find and learn tools or tricks that allow you to express yourself and open up, because I'm sure you have a lot to offer and say, good luck!

thank you (:

As an optometrist I find this interesting. And I also have anxiety and many pairs of glasses. And a very minimal rx. I feel more confident when I wear them. Kinda like when Clark Kent puts on his cape and all of a sudden he's superman. But in the opposite direction 😉.

I know that feeling. I'm 44 and still trying to get family to understand. I am panicky about the phone and the door. I avoid it and have days I don't answer for family even. What worse is if they just show up at my door. There was a reason I didn't answer my phone. Grr.

As with depression, anxiety is one of those things you have to suffer before you can truly understand it. "Just get over it" and "It'll be okay, you'll be fine" are the words of someone who may very well care but doesn't really understand what you're going through. It's not easy and may never get better. You are very young however and things can change. Hopefully for you it will get better.

hey don't be so hard on yourself. and don't apologize. i know it doesn't feel like it but you're still super young. you have lots of time to figure out life. don't feel embarrassed for not knowing how to act in every single situation you face. take life as it comes and just be calm. figuring out how to be perpetually calm is the very best thing you could do. yes, it's super hard so don't expect to master it even in a year. it takes dedication but it's worth it. being calm is the key to life. accept that you have very little control over circumstances. the only thing you can control about life is your reaction to it. and you can only do that with practice.

wow aw thank you so much for that