I recently started a new job and all people can say is how quiet I am. I am very shy around new people. I have made a few friends but I hate not knowing how to converse in social situations especially in the break room when people are eating lunch. It's gotten a bit easier but every where I work I never feel like I have a close friend. I don't know what to do to be more social. everytime I speak I feel awkward like I am just annoying everyone. I have also just started grad school now and am a little worries about that as well. ahhh what I wouldn't give to be an extrovert sometimes.
freespiritednurse freespiritednurse
31-35, F
4 Responses Jan 20, 2016

this sounds like me

It is definitely hard to be an introvert at a new job or social situation! Especially when a lot of the people there don't understand those who are more naturally quiet, as it sounds like might be the case in your situation. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but sometimes it can be helpful to tell that little voice that says you're annoying people to quiet down, and just take the risk that you might say something awkward - but you also might not! Do you think you could start out just one-on-one with someone, rather than trying to converse with everyone in the lunch room? It can be overwhelming to have so many people to talk to at once. I recently came across an article that might help give you some tips to try: http://bit.ly/1KteL3p
I hope that things improve for you! It can be hard to be an introvert in what feels like an extrovert's world, but you were made as you are for a very good reason. :) Blessings, friend!

I know the struggle. I think they're saying they r welcoming u to talk to them, but what we hear is "what, r u scared? U must have no confidence at all." I still get that and i try little things like going into ppl offices to talk to them or talking as they pass my office but when I still hear it, I'm thinking "Jesus Christ. I'm rly pushing myself here." It's like so many people seem like they could hang out in the same room together and b normal for like 10 hours straight then leave work feeling the same they did when they walked in and I'm like "how..."

You're reacting this way because you feel inadequate to the situations. Be your own boss. If you don't feel like talking, don't. When you do feel like it , do. You'll finally realize that when you take the bull by the horns, you'll start to feel more comfortable. You won't feel forced.

sometimes when I feel like I want to say something I don't and when I decide to say it it's just at the wrong time so it feels awkward

That's the self critic inside you. maybe it's because it's a new job and you don't know anybody. Hang loose for a while till you get to know people and then it will be easier.

No I've had people comment about how quiet I am and why I keep to myself and how this isn't a place for quiet people

You're a nurse. You're there to do a job. As long as you're doing it they should bug off. You don't owe them anything. You're not expected to be a marvelous conversationalist. If it causes you some problem doing your job, they have a right to give criticism. You're a meek person and some people go out of their way to take advantage of that. So, you have to speak up and let them know you don't take any of their B****sit.

I've had no complaints about how I do my job and usually offer to help my partner a lot when I am not busy. but sometimes the comments I get from some people are hurtful. there are quite a few people that have been very nice and helpful to me though. I guess I'll get more comfortable with time. thanks for all your replies.

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