This can be best described as putting on a fake emotion when you know it is necessary. Most people talk about putting on a fake smile which is probably the most common emotion falsely displayed but it is not the only one.

Any one who has ever performed on stage or done public speaking knows this too well. Thoughts race through your head. "What if I forget my part" What if people don't like it" What if I freeze up".

Then you start to pulling yourself together. "Only 7 minutes, that is all I have to do" "You have done this before, just remember slow down and speak clearly" You might even be mad at yourself. "Pull it together", as you try and stop your hand from shaking.

Then they announce your name. Possibly biting your tongue to stop yourself from a complete panic attack. You get in the center of the room, as you wait for what seems like forever for the judges to allow you to speak.

You start speaking. Your voice fails you. You clear your thought hoping no one staring at you noticed. First point down. Crowd looks board as can be. "You are uninteresting, you are failing this, do something". Next available chance when speaking you change your vocal level making them vary more. It catches some peoples attention you continue.

Second point. "what was the second point" You start to panic retrace your steps. Now you look like a fish out of water. "Found it" You apologize for stopping. Start talking part way through you realize that is not your second point it is your final point. "now you have just destroyed any chance of a decent speech" Look at the timer.

Three minutes left, "what am I going to do" Make stuff up , buy some time. You do. Improvised the best you could look at timer. Only 30 seconds left. "Recap" Repeating to the best of your memory what you just said. As you go to finish your last sentence your timer goes off leavening you unfinished. "you just failed another part". You click the timer off and thank the judges for there time as you take a seat in the back of the room.

"Well I know I failed that again" The most terrible part is you have to sit in the room as the rest of the contestants present what seems like perfect speeches. Disappointment fills you. "Why am I even here?" "I am terrible at this and I volunteered?"

You sit in silence afraid to even make eye contact. You don't feel worthy to even be in the same competition as what must be professionals. After you do this for 3 different rooms, giving three different speeches you are treated to the award ceremony.

For most this is a time of joy and celebration. For you it is a time to once again be publicly humiliated in front of over 100 people. Your team mates go up and are awarded for their accomplishments. You are happy for them but ever time they go up you feel more discouraged. You hope they forgot that you even competed. Your event comes up. All the places are called, you being the last one. Don't get me wrong 5th or 6th or 7th isn't that bad unless you only have 5 or 6 or even 7 people in your contest. You once again are congratulated for making it by default.

Because you "accomplished" this task you are moved onto the next event another day. "joys" The feeling that you move all the way to state competition by default 2 years in a row. While your team mates competing in other events may never even make it into divisional even trying their hardest and performing well.
Shadowghost123 Shadowghost123
22-25
1 Response Feb 28, 2016

I hate public speaking