I think I've posted here before basically I think I have SAD I mean I show all the symptoms like shakiness around people, can't eat around people and so on scared that people will be/are laughing/judging me but what I'm most anxious about is my sisters wedding in two weeks and it's gonna be a big Asian wedding I'm probably more nervous than my sister herself. When I go to other weddings I normally sit/follow my dad around but my dad will be busy helping out. I probably won't be helping out as they don't let me coz I have a disability so they kinda mollycoddle me (read more on the I hate my parents post) but anyway I guess I'd be too nervous to do stuff. On my other sisters wedding I felt so useless and I think that made me more socially anxious I just want to seem normal for those two days I just want to act normal like be talkative hug and shake peoples hands like us Asians do I just sit there weirdly on my phone not being able to think straight 😒😒
PositiveStateOfMind PositiveStateOfMind
22-25, M
4 Responses Apr 6, 2016

I may have some tips from my years of Therapy. These applied to me and many others, also. What had happened was I was angry and hateful of myself for the inability to function and feel comfortable with myself. Without realizing it, I was actually creating the feelings that caused me to hate myself.
There was another side to these feelings. I wasn't consciously aware of it but I was actually maintaining these feelings (as much as I hated them) because they served a purpose. The purpose was to avoid discourse and social connection with others. Social relations were (in my mind) to complex and uncertain. I had an excuse to keep to myself.
There were other aspects that were really at the root of the problem. They were my relationship with my Mother and Father. My mother was very overprotective. I never learned to stand on my own 2 feet like kids need to do. I had a father that was very stern and distant. I never learned to work with him out of a feeling of inadequacy. He was mechanical skilled and so were his other 2 sons. I wasn't. That made me feel overwhelmed and inadequate in making my own projects. For this reason I had difficulty in functioning at work and dealing with authority figures. Even though, I was in my adult years. If you have any other questions or misunderstandings as to what I've written, let me know and I'll clarify it.

This has helped me understand myself better thanks I've always blamed my parents for being overprotective

I'm glad I was able able to hit home. And I hope it does you some good. Does she still dominate your life and try to control you. If that is the case, you're going to have to break away from her influence and make your own life. When I was your age, I left home and moved into a little 2 room Apartment for a few years. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't have to answer to anyone But I'd visit home periodically.

But the thing is I've never been anywhere without my parents so I wouldn't know where to start also I have a disability which makes if harder for me

You don't have to tell me what the disability is but I can understand your situation.
Assuming you live in the USA, there are Apartment building made especially for the disabled. You can put in an application.
Tell your Mom that you need to make your own life. That you've been too sheltered and you can't socially function as it is.

I live uk and I wish it was that easy but it's not

Good point about getting out on your own. I was pathologically shy as a young person. I only learned of the term "Avoidant personality disorder" recently here one EP.
When I was in my early 20's I got out on my own thousands of miles from home. I worked as a delivery driver ( busy all day dealing with lots of different ppl and no time to dwell on myself) in a much larger city and had my own cheap apt.
I know that I was socially scared by developing late, but did manage to grow out of what plagued me. In the end I think there is a sad sense of narcissism and self absorption in in dwelling too much on yourself. Sometimes you have to make the effort to be the one who takes an interest in other people... People will WANT to be around you.

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SAD is a medical term. When I was younger, it was called an Anxiety Neurosis defined by an Inferiority Complex and feelings of inadequacy.

I don't think you have SAD (Seasonally Adjusted Depression). I've felt like this many years ago and it was Hell. If I remember correctly what I did at the time, was don't commit myself to conversation or socializing. Just hang loose and relax. Nothing is expected of you. By natural gravitation you'll catch something interesting that somebody else is talking about and you'll relax and talk. Focus on relaxing yourself and nothing else.

SAD can also stand for social anxiety disorder

I ment Social Anxiety Disorder aka SAD

And there has been interesting topics where i couldn't respond and later on I think back on the outcome if I did raise my views

Don't force yourself to just pop up and give yourself to guests, start out with people you know talk with them small talk then if you think you're going to be ok push yourself to talk to others :)
I have Social anxiety as well but I hope I've helped

The thing is I have a speech impediment and when people don't understand I get embarrassed nervous and don't know what to do so I just don't talk to people I'm the sort who will wait for someone to talk to me rather than me talk to them

I have the same thing...
But just start out with someone leek a cousin/uncle or grandparents.
Or just relax the day before.

Thanks I'll try that :)

You're welcome ☺️❀️

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