When it comes to relationships, looks only matter so much. People fall in love with personality, which is where I feel like I lose out due to SAD. Making friends and dating was tough growing up because anxiety crippled me so much that I came across as someone with literally no personality at all. Some of my relationships even ended because of this. I feel like no matter how hard I try to push myself I'll always be this person that has nothing to say because my social skills never developed well enough. Maybe I should just give up on finding love altogether.
ManicPanicx ManicPanicx
26-30
3 Responses Apr 9, 2016

Don't give up, I feel the same and it upsets me every day. What really helped me was learning other languages, because for me it's much easier to aproach someone by talking about your cultures. It gives you a natural conversation starter which makes it much easier to find friends. I also went abroad to challenge myself and I moved several times also with the intention to meet new people. Most look at me like "does she even know how to talk", but I've met people who like the same things as I do and met my boyfriend who understands that it doesn't come naturally to me. I sometimes made the mistake to see people very one-sided. I would find them boring, because they seemed too normal, but once I talked to them I would learn they have problems like I do or even strange hobbies that are fun to talk about. I thought others only judged me while I was also judging. Accept people and they will accept you. You just need to let them in a little. I know it's not easy, it's actually hard as hell, but it helps.

Don't give up. I'm experiencing the same in college as we've talked before! I'm now trying to join organizations and become more involved!

Don't give up! I used to think like you - I hated that I wasn't able to interact with people the way others could because I was so awkward, I hated my looks and I hated always being labelled as the 'shy' one. However, at the beginning of university I faked being confident and social, it actually paid off! I was scared that people wouldn't like this side of me, but I made friends just by faking it. Now I no longer have to fake confidence because after around six months of spending time with them, they know who I am and I can be myself. I still have trouble around people I don't know because I don't know how to talk to them, but I'm working on it.

I even got a boyfriend who supported me - you just need to find someone who will accept you for who you are. I thought I was going to end up friendless and alone for the rest of my life, but you have to put the effort in. Even if you're rejected so many times that it feels like it will never work, improve yourself and people will love you. I'm still working on my flaws and learning how to love myself, but I figured I should stop being so harsh on myself, otherwise I will never get over the fear of coming off as weird and awkward.

Remember to not let other people's opinions of you affect you. Once you learn that it is who you are that matters, not who others think you are, you will be much happier and they will see that their words do not affect you.