Avoidant Personality Disorder

i've always known there was something wrong with me. i mean, you can just look at me in a family photo and see it. tonight i did some reading on social anxieties and started to cry when i came upon Avoidant Personality Disorder. it mentioned "Fixed Fantasies" and my world started to crumble.

ok, God, i often think. you want me this way for a reason, but i just don't know why. what good does it do? why can't i break the cycle? why won't you let me? will i always feel this way?

and i don't even want to mention it to anyone for fear of it sounding like i'm looking for pity. the fact that they even have a "disorder" for severe shyness leaves a bitter taste. i hate the way this society leads you to believe you have a mental disorder just because you are not an obnoxious tool. in China, the shy are seen as the most competent and are considered leaders. God says that "the meek shall inherit the earth." not that i desire these things. it's just the regard i'd like. to be viewed as essential, and not a mental defective.

silentauction silentauction
22-25, F
9 Responses Nov 4, 2007

Beautifully said;<br />
'to be viewed as essential, and not a mental defective'...

I know that I'm a year late but still wanted to comment.<br />
I know you'll probably disagree with me but i think severe shyness comes from fear. Fear of interacting with people. I'm not being mean here, but I have found that severely shy people are really self-centered. What I mean is they are so fearful of interacting (self-centered) they do not consider others because the fear rules them. I know that there are reasons that one is so fearful of having to interact but being shy is far from being meek. One who is meek is not shy. A meek person is a very strong individual who puts others before himself. He puts others needs before his own. Meek does not mean weak, look it up yourself. I'm truely not being mean here, I'm just being truthful.

Omg... I love you people! You guys are all like me. ^_^ I wish you guys lived near me and then I could have some friends.

i'm extremely shy and avoidant. let me tell ya, though- the right drugs do help. depression comes from years of anxiety and to have a drug that gives you a bit of a 'push' isn't a bad thing. in combination with good therapy, it won't do much though.<br />
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i think being introverted is a good thing, but not shyness.

thanks eyes. i agree that you can't just "fix" your problems with drugs. it goes deeper. and i'm really interested in figuring out just where those forks in the road occured throughout my childhood. <br />
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i'm glad i found this site. i just need to talk some things out.

wow, after reading this i went and looked at the DSM for AVP<br />
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i have been told I have social anxiety for a long time, but looking at the criteria, i think AVP is more appropriate, although i can see how it would have been mis-diagnosed<br />
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i know how you feel about not wanting to talk to anyone about it, i joined EP to try to talk through the things that are getting to me, but i can't talk about any of them, even anonymously<br />
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the disorder is for the cause of sever shyness, the mental process that goes on in ones head... it is one thing to be reserved, another to be afraid <br />
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i don't like that everything is "fixed" thru drugs and such but i don't think just having a diagnosis is a bad thing, it just helps us understand ourselves and why we do things, and it should also help you know that you aren't alone in feeling that way

It seems there's a disorder for everything the mental professionals deem abnormal; though, I'm not sure why their opinion should dictate how others are treated. I "have" social anxiety, and GAD, and also panic attacks. I completely relate with your final statement, "... to be viewed as essential, and not a mental defective."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fixed_fantasy <br />
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i filled in the blank with my long distance relationship (even though i know it will work out) and wondered if i were one step away from talking to invisible dragons.

What are fixed fantasies?