Social Phobia X
I suffer from social phobia, I always thought I was different from being a child and worried about anything if it involved other people x
After being diagnosed with depression at the end of 2000 at 19 after having a break down it took 9 more years for my work's Doctor (I work or did work for the NHS) to say I had acute anxiety leaning more towards social phobia which brings on depression x
It's such a lonely life and nobody truly understands unless they are suffering and struggling themselves x My Mum is great and tries her hardest to understand but I realise how hard this must be for her x
When I read up on it I felt a sense of relief because everything I had been feeling and thinkin that I didnt understand was described to a 'T'
I just wish I could stop feelin guilty about it coz I feel others feel I should be x
Ive missed out on so much in life because of the extreme feelings and thoughts, panic attacks and the freezin x Makes it worse that you dont want people to notice you are so scared so develop safety behaviours that sometimes are a detrement as well as a help x I have friends but none close, they dont understand and I tend to keep away anyway coz I dont want to be a nuisance or hinderance to them x
Well I hope I can talk to people who are feelin the same x