Still Anxious

It has been a very long  I have been shut in for a weekend, I have been shut in for a while. Locked inside and just staring out and feeling dead inside except for the fear. The fear of everything, the fear keeps me inside and reminds me that its here least i forget. I am taking my medication and I recently started getting back into my reading and art. The new semester just started and I am crying before attending my classes. I have been to half of them though. Today I pushed fear aside and sorted out some school some school stuff and job things as well. This makes me happy. I am upset at how up and down my progress is by I am trying to remember that the baby steps only get bigger and that they count.
I am all about lists and reading this week. I am really determined to beat this and achieve my degree no matter how long it takes and how scared I am. There are so many excuses in my life right now to quit and sometimes I feel like they were put there to keep me down and to make sure  I get kicked out of school or. maybe even die. I am taking this one day at a time.
Guide me, help me and teach me, i beg of you. The depression is killing me , I am trying, lord knows I am trying. Please get me through this week

SunnyI SunnyI
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 8, 2010

Thank you needalittlehelp. We should indeed speak

Hello, <br />
<br />
I feel the same as you do. I'm 37, and anxiety has held me back. I fought my way through university and didn't give in. Now, I'm fighting my way to get a career. I have fear of starting a new job. I am working now, but not to my potential. I earned got a very good job but I had to leave as the anxiety was too great. I'm scard to apply elsewhere. The anxiety is too great. I shake so much when I get anxious that I cannot hide it. If you can fight it, I can. Maybe we can help each other. What is your fear? Your real fear... Email me and we'll talk (needalittlehelp@hotmail.com)