I Have Social Anxiety And It Sucks

It started in my senior year of high school. Before that I had plenty of friends and was very sociable. But I just don't know why it happened to me. Anyway this has caused me and my family many hardship where i would skip going to college and lie to my parent that I went. But I would just go in the library of the college and just sit there by myself and wait until when it's time to go home. I lied to them for an entire semester up until when they finally found out. And so I said to myself that I can't live like this, so I tried to kill myself by taking over 200 pills of advil. I don't know how I got to the hospital but I lost consciousness pretty quickly and then woke up from the coma three days later. And you would think that I would have learned my lesson, but I tried two more times to commit suicide and the last being very recent. The thing is I just can't live like this because I can't go to school because I get super nervous when I'm around people, I can't get a job, unless it's a job where I don't interact with anyone. And I don't want to be 30 and still be living with my parents(I'm 21 right now). So there goes my story.

seithkein seithkein
2 Responses Feb 15, 2010

Hey there i just wont to say firstly that SAD is something that you can overcome remember its all in your head and you must always measure thoughts with reality because your thoughts influence how you feel.... I speak from experience here and know exactly what your saying...when i ever get anxious i always measure my thoughts with reality. You must change how you percieve your self and percieve the world. REMEMBER no one can control you, you control your self . Realize that its your problem no one else can solve it. So if u think that someone is going to harm or humilate you, remember, they are putting you down not controlling you, you have the control and ability to stand up and act up (be assertive it shows u trust your self and influences others to trust you); its all within. (People influence people). Rationalize your thoughts and beliefs. Think of it as not comforming to the normative. when your in a group of people in a room socializing and u suffer from SAD, in your mind your surrounded by criticical people but in reality from a birds eye view your alone in a room dreaded with fear but there is nothing around you to fear (rationalize your thoughts). Its all in your head you control your self... think of how normal people get along...<br />
Cheers hope it helped just lil advice =)<br />
"Focus on building character - its who your are. Reputation - is what people think of you"

I hope one day you manage to overcome it as it can be a potentially very horrible thing to live with. Be good to yourself. Bubblegum.