I'm So Tired Of Being Anxious Around People.

Im a young woman, 24 years of age and am so lonely.  I shouldn't be. There are many people out there who would love to be friends with me, but I have this fear of being too close to people, or something.  I'm always running away when someone makes any attempt of being friends with me.  When I'm invited to a party or something I decline and stay at home.  This started at the age of 12 so It's been a long time.  As a child I remember loving being around my friends and doing stuff with them, but that's something of the past now.  Why am I like this????

 

 I live on a farm with my parents and I never really go anywhere and why I do this to myself I don't know, because I am so sad and lonely as a result.  I think It's because I've made up in my mind that there aren't people out there who share my same interests or who will like me for who I am.  I don't enjoy parties or large social events, because I feel so lost and anxious and this makes me feel like I don't belong, which is stupid but everyone I know is so sociable.  I've been so isolated at home from the time I developed an eating disorder at the age of 17.  I'm still struggling but am on the road to recovery.  I just want to heal my life and find true peace and fulfullment.  I'm so tired of being anxious around people.

silksta silksta
22-25, F
4 Responses Apr 19, 2010

I feel sooo bad for you really. I have the same problem. it is terrible and i think it stems from whats called social anxiety. I hope you find help i know there is med for it but I do not want to use . Good luck

silksta I feel how you feel 100 percent, its as you want people in your life but when there are opportunities to make friends you push them away. Its as if you feel you should have all these friends and social connections because that is what society encourages (and we innately want) but somewhere inside we have this fear of making those relationships (perhaps its because we dont want to put ourselves in harms way and we have decided that social situations are potentially threatening). Its debilitating, if you are like me it consumes you every day. I have made it a part of my life since probably around the same time you did. Very very very hard to turn off. I have even try to do new social things but I find it hard to think clearly as I am overcome with intense anxiety. Also, I think about any upcoming social situation ad naseum and lose sleep over it. Its absolutely insane and probably setting me up for serious medical complications later on in life. But thats the biggest motivation, this is probably killing us. And if you are like me you want to enjoy life and find happiness. So I think we just need to stop focusing on what we dont have and focus on what we do have. It may not be much but if we live life looking at what we have and trying to find the bright spots we will become healthier happier people and things will fall into place. Im still working on it...and it takes a ton of work and can be very hard when you are fatigued from anxiety. But you have to expect set-backs its really just persistence and hope that one day things will be better. Hope this helps. -Matt

The emptiness your feeling is something that everyone at some point in their life faces. Growing up I was a social misfit. I had friends but never truly felt like I fit in with them. I always felt when I was around them I had to prove myself. I did just the opposite of you. Instead of isolating myself I tried to fill the void in my life with relationships. Inappropriate ones at best. For a short time I tried alcohol. Still didn't help. I thought a change in scenery would help so when my company wanted to transfer me I jumped on it. After I moved I continue to try the same things....relationships and alcohol, what I eventually realized is that NOTHING I tried to do on my own was going to fill the void that I was experiencing. While I was around people all the time I was still very lonely. I came to a point I was ready to try just about anything to find "happiness". As a 21 year old male I was hit with an unexplainable feeling that I needed to seek out a truth that I was taught as a child but had refused to acknowledge. I came to the realization that I needed Jesus Christ to take control of my life. I prayed, asked God to forgive me of my sins and to take control of my life. Since then, the road hasn't always been easy. There have been many times still where I have felt lonely. But the difference now is, when I began to feel that way, Jesus reminds me he is there no matter what else is going on in life. He always picks me up and carries me when I can't do it on my own. I have found no greater joy in life than to do my best to live the way Jesus would want me to live. There is a sc<x>ripture that I have learned that revealed a lot of truth to me, it says "because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you WILL be saved. for with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the sc<x>ripture says, "Everyone who believes in Him will not be put to shame"". (Romans 10:9-11) Once I believed and confessed, my life turned around and I have not been put to shame. I pray that your heart finds the truth and that you will be blessed beyond all measure. Living God, Loving Life, Scott

I understand how you feel. I am not lonely though and it's not exactly anxiety. I had friends when I was little and stuff. My aversion to making friends started in 6th grade. I've moved around so much it just got tiring to make friends. I was going to have to leave them eventually---so I figured why make them? When someone wanted to be my friend, I let them though. Only recently did I start pushing EVERYONE away. Even people I meet online.