I Am Almost 16 Years Old And I Have Social Anxiety Disorder Since I Was 14 15

i am almost 16 years old and i have Social anxiety disorder since i was 14 15 and it start before a year and a half(a backround of how it all start ) when one girl that i trust her and support her turn mi her back after that i was there for her when her grandpa passed away and her parents Separated and we were toghether since first grade but when we moved to high school we weren't at the same class but she lives five minuts for me and ahe came to my house almost everyday and i was really friendly when i moved to high school i know everyone and i hang out with alot of people and then when we started 9th grad she moved to my class and she started to ignore me and she didn't call mt and the only time that she talk with was just when sht needed homework or to drive her to school (her car was stolen i mean her mother car and they didn't have any car so just ny dad took us to school ) and then she started to hang out with other girl that all the boys like . and i am not talking with her almost two years and since that happen i become more Insecure i cant to focus on school i feel like a failure and i feel ugly and i started to eat alot and right know i am fat i mean i was 62 kg and right now i am 82 kg and this is just hard to try to loss weight to try to go to school because i can't go and before six months i started to go to Psychological but it still hard and i had and still have i Suicidal thoughts because i am really Tired of everything and it's hard to talk with my parents about it and they say that they get me but they don't and last year a almost didn't come all year to school because i pretand that i was sick and right now the yea started and it's to hard for me and everytime that i am going to school i wish that some car will hit me or something because i hate myself and i hate that i have that

sorry that i wrote so much !! and sorry it there any speling mistakes
marie08 marie08
18-21, F
1 Response Oct 9, 2012

You should try to focus on school now.
I hate going to school, and I am quiet the entire day because I get so socially nervous. But I try my best when it comes to school work because that's important stuff. High School is Collage prep and just last week, my teacher in my History class pulled me aside just to say how well I was doing.
I want you to feel proud of yourself too, so please try hard with your school work and get good grades.
Hugs :)