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Living With Agrophobia

Hey Everyone, Never tried anything like this before but now i'm doing better then i was i think maybe sharing might help others get to at least where i am on the road to recovery.

about 3 years ago i started becoming quite reclusive,Which was rather strange seeing has how i used to always be the first one out of all my friends and usually the last one home.Due to my family moving around and me moving to my own flat at around the time it seemed to hit its peek my condition went unnoticed buy those around me until i couldn't hide it no more money was running out and rent had to be paid and obviously i wasn't being able to work.So eventually i had to let my parents in on what was happening and my friend's i didn't not go to them prior to having no choice because i didn't think they would help i just felt embarrassed , i wish now i had i may have saved myself sometime but no point thinking like that i guess.
To start off with my friends were quite supportive but although a select few have stuck with me through it all the majority of people begin to loose patients with you saying you wont be going out for the weekend or you cant go to party's and what not,this will be upsetting for anyone who goes through it has it was for me as well but you have to remember that it is not like a broken leg very few people will understand because they cannot see what is happening some will feel you are lying or faking it. so loosing these so called friends isn't really a major problem is it the ones worth knowing will stick around.
After i had finally plucked up the courage to finally see a doctor i was prescribed with some anti depressants and Propranalol which is a beta blocker i was on 10mg (Which i still take now).Now at this point i think i should probaelly tell you that prior to all of this happening i used to smoke a lot of cannabis i have been assured that this is not the cause of my phobia you would have to smoke an unbelievable amount which i thought i was but apparently if any of you are worrying about that please don't although it may be the cause of some paranoia it is not the cause of your phobia's i haven't touch drugs for 2 years of any kind and not having any paranoia is a huge help,i only mention this because the few people i have spoke to who have gone through same thing always say when they are first prescribed medicine they are terrified to take it thinking it will kill them i felt like this but i promise you it helps with the panic attacks and CBT training over time will help you with the smaller attacks.
this is the first time i have ever shared my story in so much detail and i am doing it because 3 years ago i felt so alone there were moments where i felt like dying would be easier on me and those around me,but its not there's always someone out there who loves you and you have to hold onto this because you have my word it does get better ,no it isn't easy some i myself am still suffering buy 3 years ago i would move from the sofa now i go for walks around the block in the morning and night i can get to the doctors and back i can answer the door and the phone without any anxiety.
there will always be tough days and sometimes you will have to push yourself like i am doing now and put your self in the motions that you fear most but you will break though it will not kill you and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It would be nice to speak to people going through the same thing maybe we could build ourselfs up a small support network give each other tasks and push each other. or maybe some of you out there could just do with a chat, maybe even my story is enough to let you no your not alone and there is always light at the end of the tunnel remember even the darkest night must have a dawn.

anyways everyone take care maybe ill speak to some of you soon if not all the best for 2013 maybe its the year where you can make a break through :)

101Ben101 101Ben101 22-25, M Dec 31, 2012

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