Social Phobia

ive always been nervous around others, even friends.  and ive always had a social phobia in that every time i speak the words just never come out, ive got a stuttering problem that for some reason developed rather drastically over the past year, everyone told me just slow down and think about what i wanted to say but it never worked i could never say it.  B/c of it ive become somewhat of a recluse and now talk to only 1 friend...on IM  and spend the rest of my day working out and playing games on my Gamecube and PC...any suggestions?
Gemini15 Gemini15
18-21, M
8 Responses Aug 1, 2007

*this message is the same i sent to a girl with the same issue*<br />
*sending it to you too cuz maybe it will help*<br />
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I used to have social anxiety too, and i think it hit me when i hit highschool, before high school i had sooooo many freinds and would get along with everyone, but when high school hit pretty much all my freinds went to other schools and i was just left with my best freind and she was never their, and their was a group of girls that made school horrible for me and my freind because I was dateing her ex so i just stoped going because i felt all alone, so a bunch of things happend after this my boyfreind ended up dateing one of those girls and ruined my life tormenting me, and after all this i kind ove hid for like thre years from everyone and i think that whole experience lead me to completely isolate myself off from the world. I think this whole thing triggered my anxiety about people, but anyway it got to the point where first i couldent be in crowds without haveing to like run away and be by myself, then i couldent be in small groups with even close freinds , then i couldent be around even my family without get anxiety and feeling extremely akward, and then it got to the point where i could only be around my boyfreind, i wouldent awnser my phone i couldent even go to the store without feeling really anxious.... and due to feeling so lonely and board i would go out but only if i self medicated myself with alcahol before i left, i would have to be hammered before i could leave the house to go out, and then finally i decided enough of liveing like this i had to make a change i couldent live like this forever... so i forced myself to go see the docter, it was so hard by this time to be around anyone i felt so nervous around the docter and the nurses, but i told him everything i told him how i felt and that i really needed something to help me get out of this, and that day changed my life!!!!! no kidding, im not trying to premote drugs and say hears the quick fix but at that point i had no other choice, so he prescribed me Effexor XR i worked my way up to takeing 250mgs a day, this drug is made to help cure.... yes CURE social anxiety... and it deals with deppression.... it took about 2 months to fulling kick in and now im liveing my life but i am able to be around groups crowds one on one and just live a normal fulfilling life... finally! I have two freinds who also had social anxiety and my mother had it, my mom is the one who told me to ask the docter about this specific drug, she had it and now she is perfectly fine... my freinds had it and they thanked me so much for telling them about this their life was too becomeing more and more isolated... i know how this sounds but honestly this medication changed ! My! Life! so i really would tell you to give it a try if your docter says it would be a good idea... i hope this helps :) .... you deserve better for yourself,<br />
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P.S when i said cure i said that because this medication you only need to take for 2-4 yrs before it this fixes something in your brain i dont know exactly what it does to it but it makes it so you can deal on your own... with no more medication.... but just look it up on google or yahoo... :)

meds is a no no for me. I have tried so many and had bad reactions to many especially paxil or how ever its spelled. Zoloft to pills that is filtered through the liver which is a no no again for me since I have liver cancer when I was a child and beat it through catching the tumor in time and young enough to not need a transplant and it grew back. They cut out all of it but 1/4th and watched it closely to see if it would grow back on and it grew back but always damaged and weak at filtering. Was told to never drink or smoke. So I don't. Saint Jude Research hospital did the surgery in the early 80's. I have a huge scar across my stomach just under my chest above the belly to always remind me of that cancer battle. Chemotherapy was no fun at that age to. So I'm sensitive at filtering mental meds so meds just don't work for me and many others. Meds is never a cure its just treatment to numb ya to being a half walking zombie that wants to sleep day and night while taking them. I have 4 kids I cant sleep all day. So I stay home mostly and avoid crowds and people the most I can to keep the attacks at bay. It sucks but Its my natural way to deal with it. Been this way for years now. I try to keep active on the treadmill and clean house as much as possible and netflix and other streaming sites on my ps4 keep me intertained. The kids and I will go to the lake at a private away from others spot to enjoy ourselves swimming in the summer. Or walks in the woods as time for us. Family gatherings and Christmas I stay home while the wife and the kids have the holidays and thanksgivings over at their house. I make sure we all have a Christmas here at home before they leave over there. Never got along with the wives family anyways. They hated me since day one and really hate me now that I'm on mental disability for my issues. So to avoid the jerks I stay home now.

wait... you're being "cool" with me? :D

I'm glad you found ways to get help :) It's good to know at least someone is willing to help instead of laugh heh. I've gotten much better though since the writing of this story...hopefully it stays that way :)

I too suffered because of the same problem. I feel nervous to speak with others and in public places. Really I have faced lot of problems because of that fear and anxiety. Later I found good way from thoughtsbecomereality.co.uk which took me out from fear and anxiety. They helped me through various hypnosis and hypnotherapy techniques.

Ja, I told you when i'm with people to who I'm cool with I don't stutter :) I talked to Samuel today haha - he was like "I cannot hear your stutter at all." So I must be getting better or something :D

the stuttering got better, didn't it? at least... I didn't even notice you were stuttering lol and I spent a WEEK with you.

It seems like the more nervous you get about your stutter, the worse it gets. IM and internet can be a great way to start interacting with people, and getting comfortable with "talking". Maybe that will help you with your stutter in real life. If not, you will still have the confidence to try anyway.

one friend? *Cough* treyson *cough*<br />
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What brought on this social phobia? If you can find the cause then you can find the answer too.