Am I Right Or Wrong?

I was physically abused by my father and emotional abused by my mom  , and till now i don't know who's wrong me or them.

My torment happened ever since i went to school i was bullied in kindergarten but to me it's nothing i did not tell any of those to my parents because they always say be a man don't cry and stuff which made me don't wanna act like a sissy.

My brother and i was always getting hit by my father with brooms or some wooden pole he bought to scare us or even his hands.

He warned me everytime when i did nothing at all.

He hit me for playing with shampoo when i was 6 , threw me on the sofa and slapped me and then i wasn't allowed to cry he would shout at me u how big are u?and your still crying over this? Then he would tell me to knew down at the altar in my house till the joss stick finish burning and i still had to ask for permission to stand up.

They never bought anything for me ,never brought me for a holiday.
i never been overseas till now im 16.

Every single day i came home they asked me the same thing threaten me the same thing or hit me I have forgotten why he hit me or how mabye thats my brain way of erasing bad memories to keep me going.

i just rmb a few things Hit me when my money got stolen ,hit my brother because he wanted to go school early to play football,mom canned me just because i cant finish my food.

We wanted to have fun but they din gave us money to buy any stuff except food so i stopped using my $1 for food and save till on weekends i went to the arcades and play or save money to buy a football because they won't buy us anything and we cant be bothered to ask anymore.
My father and mother always fighting ,everyone in the family is always arguing.

But what i hated is even though they treated me this way they have the cheek to complain about us in front of my friends , grandmother teachers friends and anyone that has anything to do with me so in their minds i was a spoilt brat when i endured nothing but torture.

I can go on forever if i wanted to but my prob is I was not loved and in fact felt hated by my parents and people having to wrong idea about me i never enjoyed my childhood.My friends were the only things i had .Everyone was judging me by my parents words to them .

Football is the thing that kept me going , when i play football i don't think about those stuff even if i just got whacked before i came out of the house.

Untill now i cant think straight or rmb excatly what happened that traumatize me somedays i would not think about somedays i would suddenly be remined of it and start crying.

Im really going crazy.

UselessKid UselessKid
18-21, M
3 Responses Aug 3, 2010

You are right; you're parents are seriously abusive, and i hope that you will get some help. This kind of thing can make your whole life miserable.

sounds many ways like my life but it was a different world back then and i got a job just to stay away from home <br />
12 years old ther was a fight down town and some one told my father a lie about what happened and as i came home sunday night from the weekend with a friend i walked by him as he reached in and geab the razore strap and started beating me in the yard my friend jumped out of the car and kickined him then my father went after my friend as his mother came runing up and f=she fired one shot inthe the gorund in fron of my father and told him to stay but i was lng gone<br />
<br />
later they found me and my friend stayed with me that night int he tree house then next day there mother was granted temp control of me a and few weeks later she became my mother know how much we loved each other<br />
<br />
allmy [parents wanted was my bank book so i wiould not spend it the accoung had 400.00<br />
i was allowed to take my stuff the only thing i took was my short wave radio and i had my new grandfathed carry it out so no fight<br />
i had 4 bank books totalting over 20000.00 in al the years i worked my parents never once ask me how much i made

trust me when i tell u kiddo you are not wrong youre parents are as wrong as parents can possibly get. in fact they are wrong to even claim to be anything less than evil. my parents did the same thing to me. I am here if you ever need to talk. I hate to see anyone take as long as i took to finally realize that I didn't deserve any of what they did or anyone else did to me.