....I have them. From the age of 3-13 I was abused by my alcoholic grandfather. At age 6, my great grandmother, who had been trying to protect everyone prior to this, asked me to see that the 'flock' (my cousins and sis) was kept away from the 'Big Bad Wolf' (grandfather). When I agreed to do so, she called me a 'Shepherd'. I successfully did this task from the age of 6 to 13. There were a few times I was badly beaten. I was also tied to a chair, raped, forced to witness rapes, taunted, and emotionally abused. My cousins and sister were spared that pain. I was at least partially responsible for that. At 13, I intervened when grandfather was hitting grandmother one day, I had a sturdy old corn broom as a weapon. I hit him in the abdomen, right kidney, and then broke it over his head. That is the day I won. It was also the day I nearly killed him.