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I Have The Most Disrespectful, Inconsiderate And Thoughtless Children

Misery loves company. Here is my story. My son is 36 years old. I loved him and his sister with all my heart and my whole life. I would have literally given up my life for them. I stayed at home to take care of them full time, for ten years, when they were growing up. I have never yelled at him or physically or emotionally abused him. I only loved and cared for him.
 
Then he went off to college. I called, he did not return my phone call. I sent him letters and email that he did not reply. I sent him birthday presents, he did not acknowledge. When he came home during school break, I did not know he was home until a friend of his called for him.
 
He stayed in the Bay Area after graduation and I would come up from Southern Cal twice a year to visit my sisters. He would then join us for dinner. Four years ago, I moved up to the Bay Area and lived with my sister for two years. The thoughtless behavior continued. I put up with it all those years because I am the mom, the adult.
 
The contrast between how my sisters children treat her and how my son treated and still does treat me cause me endless pain. My sister's sons. They take her out on her birthdays, and holidays and included me.
 
Can you believe that he never called, emailed, sent me a card or took me out to dinner on my birthday, mother's day, X'mas, or Thanksgiving or any other holidays? It is a big disappointment and heart broken.  
 
This coupled with the fact that I just learned that my sister had moved back to the Bay Area in a restaurant since the end of last year is causing me to lose sleep. All the years of loving and caring meant nothing to my children. I do not expect them to be the most respectful, considerate and thoughtful. But I will not put up with them being the most disrespectful, inconsiderate and most thoughtless children among all my relatives, friends, and coworkers that I know.
 
How does a mother go about healing this wound inflected by her own flesh and blood whom she so lovingly cared for? That's all for now. I will share more later.  
 
Mother’s day 5/13/12.
 
 
 
Wind2012 Wind2012 61-65, F 2 Responses May 13, 2012

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Thanks for your encouragement.

I know the pain cuts to your core. You have to go through a mourning process and then reinvent yourself. Find your passion and live well.