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Married To A Liar

I did not realize that my husband was a liar until after I married him. I believed everything that he told me and had no reason not to at the time. A week after we got married he went to have knee surgery and he told me that it was from an injury that he suffered from since he was in the military and that he had an artificial knee replacement, he had gotten out the year before I met him. When his surgery was over with the doctor came to tell me that everything went well and when I asked how his knee was the doctor let me know that he did not have an artificial knee. I will never forget that day, it was the day that I lost all trust in him, I have not believed anything that he said since then. It was such a stupid thing to lie about but I knew that I couldn't trust him after that. I went online and did a search on him and found out that he had also lied about his parents names, and that his mother was dead, she was in fact alive (obviously I have never met them either). These are just some of the big ones, there are many many small fabrications as well.

We have been married for a year now and I still do not believe anything that he tells me. I do not trust the person that I have vowed to live my life with. It makes me feel so lonely, I don't feel like I deserve this and he acts like I should just let it go and move on, he says that his lying is over and he is always honest with me but how can I believe that?! I know he loves me but then I think "if he loves me why would he do this to me? why would he break my heart??"

I feel trapped and truely want to be in love with him like I was before we were married. Is it possible to grow from this experience? Can anyone really move on when trust is broken??

Confusion24 Confusion24 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 17, 2010

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I didn't what you should also be asking is why he lied? Most of the time I find that people who lie about their lives are truely unhappy people deep down with themselves.

Had a cousin who married a man who lied about his name. Lied about being married before. Lied about how many children he has. Lied about everything. She found out his real name about a year after they were married. Found out about the other stuff later, when she went through some of his paperwork, which he had hidden. She found out he didn't have a job. He lied about everything. I felt really bad for her. She was truly hurt.