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This Is Not It.

I know in my heart that this is not all there is to my life. I'm not happy most of the time at home, and work is wonderful but not totally stable yet.
Something has to change in order for me to be able to see or accept happiness, something that I want so badly.
I have never planned for the future, I've let my life go where ever it wanted to go. It's now time for me to be an active participant in my future. Life is so short. I need to do some soul searching, get over my fears and act. The second half of my life has to be mine to live, not living for everyone who passes through mine.
I want to make a change. I want to be a truly independent woman who lives life free of criticism and unappreciation.
I want to be off this leash that keeps me tied to my past.
I want to be happy me.
rottenrobi rottenrobi 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 13, 2012

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I feel like we must be stuck in the same lives, or atleast lived in similar situations as I understand and feel the same as you. It's time to be better, do better, think better, and act better! Lets strive for the lives we should have and want to have. Good luck.

You and I are sisters of circumstance. I get it. My life is changing because of my attitude and my frustration. I'm not willing to let him slide anymore, so whether I'm ready or not, my situation is changing. I'm not so scared about the outcome anymore, in fact I can't wait for him to walk out. Good luck to you too. And please, message me anytime you need to talk.

Thank you. I too am scared anymore, only fear lies in what damage it will do to our 4 year old son. My husband can along with all of his other not so attractive behaviors can be manipulative even to a four year old. But, I have my plan mapped out and ready for execution! I can't wait to see myself on the other side of this night mare. Good luck to you as well. I am anxious to see how it works out for you!

wow, "manipulative even to a 4 year old" , I understand this. I never, ever thought anyone else could be the same, and yet my guy is the same. I know what he will do, and I luckily my kids are older, but I can't stand the thought of what he will tell the kids. I dont really have any family, so his family has become mine so his manipulation of the facts will alienate me to them too. It is a nightmare, but if nothing else, these men have made us very strong. Stronger than we know yet. I can't wait to get to the other side as well. Lets keep in touch!