So right now I am in my first year of college, and never before has the question of "what I'm going to do" been so frequently asked. My problem is not knowing what I'm going to do, it's knowing when and how I'm going to do it, because I pretty much want to do everything.
I mean, how can I really choose how I want to spend the rest of my life without trying everything out first? Like, I can't just decide today that I want to be a dentist for the rest of my life, I've never done dentistry. Honestly, I wish I could make my decision in a better way than spending all of my learning time in the same school in the same town. I'm just craving a new experience, and bottom line I think that's what I really need in order to truly get to know myself.
Even my own morals, which I'm pretty strong in believing, could change. So then, what's the point in even having them? 5 years ago my entire way of thinking was different than it is now. But is that just growth? How then do I maintain my own belief system while also developing myself to become better?
I don't want to wake up in 20 years and realize that all my ideals and dreams from when I was younger have been shoved off my ten year plan. I always want to have that ambition and drive to do better and be better, and see and do more. I don't want to lose what my dad calls my "naive spark".