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The Pendulum Swings

Back in October I met a girl, fell for her hard, had a wonderful but challenging 6 months trying to be with her, and alas my heart was finally broken.  It wasn't until last month that it became evident that my love for her was truly unrequited.

In my life now, I find myself doing pretty all right.  I am in a little rut as I process the loss I realized after following my instincts and heart.  Of course this is always a humbling experience.  

A new friendship I have developed is with a woman who is hilarious, fun, an amazing chef, and a social juggernaut within our community.  These are all things that I look for in a partner.  The one catch is I am not physically attracted to her.  However, she is very attracted to me and I know she is bonkers for me.

So the pendulum swings...I am in the inverse of my situation that had been unfolding since October.  So, what I learned from my broken heart scenario is that I should not play that game.  I intend to share with my new friend that I am not feeling the chemistry necessary to develop a relationship. When I drop my feelings on her, I realize that I may lose her as a friend and I may also cut myself out of some amazing meals and awesome social connections...Then again, she is pretty amazing, she may be all good.

One of the reasons I am hesitant to cool things off, is that somewhere deep down I am challenging my self.  I am trying to remain open to see if I can develop an attraction by spending more time with her and increasing my appreciation for her....That is kind of silly though as she doesn't deserve someone experimenting with her.
Dc123 Dc123 26-30, M Jun 27, 2011

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