To My Boyfriend

I love you so much it scares me sometimes

but i cant help but feel a little sad about the route our relationship has taken in recent weeks

before we gave each other our virginity you were very eager to please me.. always making sure you satisfy my in the bedroom (using you fingers of course) we kissed for hours and had plenty of romantic foreplay

since we have started having sex you have not made me climax once...
I'm sorry sex feels good but it doesn.t ge met off like your fingers do...
fingers can reach and flex and turn and twist unlike your less than average manhood

now there is hardly any foreplay or fingering before hand.. it's like we go straight from kissing to sex....and then you finish during sex and we are done.. i dont finish ever.. i feel like someone who really loved me could show me by making sure im always satisfied


and another thing..... i dont want to hear about girls who wanted you but you turned down.. it makes me feel like you could have any girl in the world so im just disposable.. and please dont ever refer to your ex as "the one that got away" ever again this implies that you are still in love with her...

i wish you would make more of an effort to see me.. i go through hell and back to borrow the car from my mom and drive down to you and i feel like you dont really mke and effort like i do

you always seem to be almost making an excuse not to see me.. idk it could just be me being insecure but i feel like it just too convenient that you get sick before the one day im availible to see you =/

sometimes i get a feeling that you might be lying to me about a few things.. you told me that your family doenst really celebrate christms and that you ahvent had a tree in your house for years.. i then talked to your mother and she told me different.... what makes it worse is that you found got angry when i lies to you about already eating lunch when thats a stupid little white lie compared to yours


now i wonder that if you lied about that what else could you be lying about?
i want to say these things to you but im so afraid to lose you. i would be so heartbroken if you left my life i dont know if i can handle it

if we broke up id get depressed
if i got depressed i wouldn't get good grades in school
if i got nbad grades at school my mom would get angry and stop paying for my college
then i wuld drop out of college
and basically work at market basket for the restr of my life the end


i hope these thoughts are just all in my head.. i hope you love and care about me as much asi love and care about you

i hope you are being truthful with me

but i guess if i dont speak up soon then we probably wont last long will we?