Crazed And Confused

I was 16 years old, I had my first boyfriend, we dated for a few years, and being that we were teenagers, things obviously didn't work out, then 20 years later on facebook, he finds me... We've now been together for almost 4 years.
I have 2 boys, 18 and 16 from a previous marriage, and he has 3 girls from a previous relationship, 12, 9 and 6.....
Talk about the preverbial Brady bunch all put together...
I guess the problem now is, we are a split family, and it gets worse by the day... My kids can't do anything right in his eyes, and I guess his can't do right in mine.
My boys are older, so they go out and ignore the situation when things happen, but our main concern in the house is the girls, when they are asked to do things by me, they run to daddy and he then doesn't follow through what I have said...
The biggest part now is the youngest ones are running home to their mom giving them wild stories about what goes on in our house, then of course, their mom goes off on dad and their prevented from coming here.... Meanwhile, when they do show back up here, they apologize for their stories, yet go back home that night and make up more stories....
I am so confused, how does one person deal with this "crap", I love the children and of course, I love my husband more than anything, but this whole "step-family" thing has gotten me mind-boggled.
I think I hve exhausted every means possible, but I mean, simple things like picking up their dishes and putting them into the kitchen sink has become such a problem for them to listen...
I NEED SOME ADVISE, AND DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN...
Someone please help me.....
S.
yllas1 yllas1
36-40
2 Responses Apr 20, 2011

couldnt have said it better myself <br />
Stick together and always stand together when dealing with the kids

firstly you and your man have to get onto the same page. The kids will continue to play one against the other forever if they see a break in the chain. What happens at the other parents homes is beyond your control so let that be. Next thing a family pow wow, get all the kids and your man sat round the table and discuss the rules, the hurt feelings and how to make things better. And tell everyone they have the right to speak and contribute but once rules are agreed upon there is no going back into old patterns. Tell the girls that whatever they are telling their mother is not to be brought back into your home as a negative tool. This has to stop at the door upon their return. <br />
Hey if kids are not cleaning up after them selves, take their crap and put it into their beds.