I'm Married...now What?

I didn't realize that I wanted marriage to define me.  In fact, if I'd been asked, I would've angrily and vehemently denied it.  Except, now that I've been married for seven years, I don't feel satisfied.  I feel like, "Ok, this is it?"  Part of me is disillusioned, b/c of issues btwn us, but largely, the problem is that I don't feel like I even know what else I want.  Besides the obvious..

1: I want to sing in local and tri-county operatic and oratorio productions

2: I want kids

3: I want to be a full-time music teacher

Besides those things, though, I don't feel like I have any other personal goals.  I used to be idealistic and hopeful...now I just feel like I can see life laid out before me, and I'm bored by it.  Anyone else in the same boat?

singerjen singerjen
2 Responses Mar 24, 2009

Months later, and I'm finally at a place that I can be ob<x>jective...First off, thanks so much to SlideRule for the helpful comment. I read it shortly after you wrote it, but then lost interest in my own complaining. I have to admit, sharing the bit that I did with others here on EP freaked me out. I know that I've left no trail to link my virtual persona to my real life person, but still...I'd read something about a search engine being able to link an individual's postings and memberships on online communities, and I freaked... So now I'm back, and hoping to find a community that's safe, both for sharing, and also for my real-world person. Has anyone heard of this? I don't remember where I read about the search engine thingie, maybe Reader's Digest? I dunno.

Having read your other story, 2) should be deferred. Are you currently doing anything about 1) or 3) ? Also, I'm no expert so I hesitate to suggest this, but you are describing depression...which is perhaps reasonable given your problems. Some outside help might be useful, at least to clarify whether it's from internal or external causes. Identification of the problem is the first step toward solution...