****** Alternate Reality

I feel like I went the wrong way. All the signs were there, yet I chose the other path. It was so obvious what I should have done, but for some reason, I decided to go the other way. Was I afraid to succeed? Was I afraid to be happy? Maybe I was just afraid that things wouldn't work out despite my intuition, and so decided on the guaranteed failure. In any case, now I am living the other life. The alternate reality where my life has no meaning and I live depraved of any happiness; at least that's how it feels. Sometimes I wonder if there is another version of me, living that other life, having taken the path I was too afraid to choose. Lately, I've been in that state between sleep and consciousness, thinking about my current situation and wondering "Did that really happen? Did I really do that? Is this my reality?" It all feels wrong, just plain wrong. Like it wasn't supposed to happen. Like I veered off the correct path and down the slope into hell. There's nowhere to go but down now. Just roll down until I finally crash.
KoalaKen KoalaKen
26-30, M
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

I think you know what you need to do now and that is make the decision for your happiness. I relate to what you said. I am now rectifying my safe choices and beginning to live the unknown scary ones and I couldn't be more excited. Good luck to you.