Turbulence

You might not understand why I can't just be "ok", you might think I'm just being dramatic or trying to get attention. But the truth is, whether you accept it or not, is that I feel so much, so strongly. Small things trigger problems for me, because I have been hurt so much in the past.

When I feel like you have neglected me, no matter how little the thing you did was, I drop into a whirlpool of emotional turbulence. I feel unworthy, unloved, and most prominently unwanted. As a result I hurt myself, punish myself, just know it's not your fault. It's the price I pay for wanting you so greatly, needing you so much.

When I feel that you share with me some of the infatuation that I have towards you, I am gliding, cloud nine, regardless of the truth. I dance in the living room, all you've touched quickly turns to gold. I idealize your behavior, ignoring the danger, of playing with emotional fire.
LiquidGuilt LiquidGuilt
18-21, F
May 11, 2012