Wife/pain Killers

My wife got hooked on painkillers a few years ago. I didn't know anything about pill addiction and thought it was harmless till her source dried up and she got desperate. She started meeting with sketchy guys, selling my and our stuff for drug money, passing out on the floor while home alone with our toddler son, bringing him along to drug deals, etc. I found out the severity of it when she left her phone behind and it was going crazy with text messages. I looked, and it was a bunch of penis pictures from her dealer saying he wanted sex, not money, for pills this time, and I followed back the conversation where she was negotiating with him. It made me remember another time when she was gone a very long time when picking up pills and came back with her skirt on sideways and wet in the back, saying she had to pee by the side of the road and that's how it happened. I flipped out, had the state take away her unsupervised custody rights, sent her to rehab several times...three? More? I forget but, when she got out she started huffing aerosol and passing out in front of our son. More rehab. Then instead of aerosol she started drinking HEAVY till she passes out every night. It's ruined our relationship to say the least. It hasn't stopped. She's unstable and says that if I divorce her she'll commit suicide and I believe it. Or go back to drugs, used by dealers, living in the street, which would be about the same thing. It's crushing for me to think of her ending up like that. Right now she's been probably a year without getting drug tested, and I would be very surprised if she isn't back on something since I travel for work for weeks at a time and my parents watch our son. She's alone and unsupervised and I know what kinds of decisions she makes. I feel trapped. I've gotten all the advice you can imagine, and yes, I know I should just take my son and go, yes I know her behavior is outside of my control, and yes I know I'm enabling. Even if her behavior isn't my responsibility, I know without a doubt the cause and effect of me leaving. I feel like the relationship is dead. We fight constantly now. I HAVE told her to get out, move out, leave my house, I want a divorce but she says she just won't leave because she has nowhere to go and values our family too much. There's always hostility under the surface and whenever our son isn't around, it gets loud and bitter and hateful. So anyway, that's my sucky life.
UppityProletarian UppityProletarian
36-40, M
1 Response Jan 6, 2013

Wow..I thought dealing with my husband and his addictions was bad but nothing compared to what you are going through. I have a little girl girl too and when he does drugs that ruins our family it makes me question if he cares about us at all.

This was the beginning of January. By the end of February she met her soul-mate, some guy 15 years younger who was currently in the same rehab she started in. I am now a single dad and my life is incredibly awesome. I could not be happier :-)

Hey that's great, everything is working out for the best :)