Suicidal Thoughts.

When I was at the hospital the other day one of the questions they asked me was 'Do you have suicidal thoughts?' To be honest it was the first time I realised it wasn't considered normal to have them. I always think about killing myself, I find it easy to picture. I've wanted to kill myself thousands of times and I have attempted to and that scares me. I've taken my mum's bipolar medication, a high amount of paracetamol, tried to drown myself and ran out onto a main road in the middle of then night with the intentions to kill myself. I'm not really sure why I have them, I guess it's like I can't control my mind sometimes. I don't 'make plans' to kill myself it's usually just spontaneous. But I know that some day I won't think about the consequences and I will lose control and just kill myself.
Nethaly Nethaly
18-21, F
Dec 8, 2012