Not My Best Moment

Today I found myself writting my letter again.
It`s bizarre, but I cant stop thinking about it, you know, about dying.
And I get so mad at myself because this isnt me.
I try to push that thought away,to ocupy my mind with other things, but something always happens, and I end up on the same path again.
I got so close last night.
To end it all.
But I stoped,I was able to stop.
Not for myself,for my family.
Because even when they dont pay atention to me, or criticize me, they are the only family I have, and I know it would be terrible to do this to them.

deleted deleted
26-30
Dec 16, 2012