You Have No Idea..I have suffered with clinical depression for almost a year now. Nobody know, and i havent had a formal diagnosis, but im pretty sure. Every time i breathe i want to be dead. I feel like a failure because nobody cares about me. To everybody except only a couple people, i dont exist. Sometimes, my depression gets so bad that i take sissors and i carve deep marks into my skin. Not so deep that i would need stiches, but deep enough so it leaves scars.
To make everything so much better, we are learning about depression in health class. After class, this girl that i kind of call a friend started walking with me to our next class. Here was our conversation:
Her: Omg i have felt depressed once.
Me: really? thats too bad. was it like major depression, or just like feeling a little down?
her: Like really major...i thought about ending my life.
her: Because I dont see that guy that i met on vacation anymore.
Me: but thats because he lives like a thousand miles away. Why would you want to end your life because of that?
her: omg Kels. You just dont understand the pain i was in. You just dont understand what its like to be depressed. so just shut up!
me: oh you have noo idea..
so this conversation made me really upset and idk why. Absolutely nobody know that i am depressed, but idk i feel like she was being so selfish. The people reading this or the other depressed people on this website arent derpressed because they cant see a guy anymore or because they miss somebody that they knew for only a couple days. It makes me realise how selfish people really are. Am i selfish for being depressed because nobody notices or cares about me? idk..