On Depression

i have had depression for most of my adult life.as well as low self esteem.put those together,and it makes for a rough life,as most people know.my brother died,hen i was around 30,im 44 no.i never liked him,he was an alcoholic,was biploar.he was a difficult person to be around.never the less,it affected me,more than i ever though it would.that aside,my sister died 3 years ago,from an illness.she was about 44,and,it was,to say the least,a tragic event in my life.this past summer,her husband killed himself.another terrible event.i had alot of trouble dealing with that.that happened in june,and,i become morose,dysfunctional.thought alot about ending my own life.depression,hounded me throughout the summer ,into the fall.as of recently,ive begun to forget a little,and not think so much about it.i try and keep busy,which is hard for a man with no wife or family of his own.but im used to that now,i dont even care.anyway,im hoping to keep forgetting,and try and look forward.im anything but happy or content,but ,i feel like living,which,is a good thing c.mailey 11 2012