I dated someone for a period of 5 years. The first two years were about supporting my partner as he suffered from severe depression and was boarderline suicidal. After two years, I asked him what he really wanted to be, what was the one thing he wish he had done, he said study law. So I purchased $8000 worth of suits and he enrolled in a law degree. I fell ill myself 6 months after he had started his degree, and although I had to spend a month in hospital, I was informed that I could not consider going back to work for at least 6 months. But I did go back, I cried on the way to work and on the way home due to how sick I was but the fact was the money was needed and my partner, he informed me he did not want to have to defer because he was on a roll and doing well and once he finished his degree, which would only be two years due to credits he received, I would be able to take the break needed to recover. He was due to finish his studies now, but in March this year I became too ill and had to give up work. In doing that, he then started complaining that he was contributing more to the relationship in respect to money more than he should have to. I have two children from my marriage. He had a secondary credit card to my account and when he started complaining, I cut the credit card and stated that he could just pay what should be strictly his living costs and I would cover my children's. He applied for a credit card and reached the limit within a month. I then asked if he then realised how much mental support, love and financial support I had been contributing and that he was the best dressed para legal I had known who also lived a lavished lifestyle. He only worked three days a week on a students hourly income, so he had little money coming in. Sadly once I had cut the financial support the real person started to surface. The end result is, the verbal abuse became so bad towards the end that I would sit in a corner and cry. The last weak of our relationship he assaulted my 11 yr old son who suffers from motor tic's. He then assaulted me due to my saying to him, don't worry about it, it's too late. This was in relation to picking the kids up from a disco. He informed me he could do this and they were to be picked up by 8pm. It was 7.50pm and I realised he was not going to make it, I received the call from him stating he would be a bit late but he will still try to make it, that was when I had made the comment. It was not said in a nasty way but by that point he was convinced I was jealous of his newly found life and friends and his ego had rocketed sky high. I returned home the same time as he did with the children. I asked that we talk in the room. I have Type 1 diabeties and started to have a hypo, I asked my children to grab some chocolate and coke for me. My partner just laid on the bed playing with his phone. I pointed that bit out because I did not drink any of the coke which was a 1.25lt bottle. He went to throw it at the wall and I pleaded for him not to as he had already done so much damage of which I could not afford to cover anymore. So he then shook the bottle and sprayed it all over my room, curtains, bed and clothes. He informed the police that he was thirsty and did not realise the bottle must have been shaken at one stage and when he removed the lid, he said he could not control the spray. Again, the police were happy with that excuse. My shoulder is injured because I had just had a minor medical procedure on it due to something he had done months before. He grabbed my should and I informed him that he knew I had just had a procedure done on it and not to do anything as I had been healing extremely well. I will never forget the look on his face, it was pure evil and it was apparent to me he just wanted to hurt me, but due to him about to finish his studies, everything he did was calculating so the police would not be able to prove anything. I advised the police of the hole in my bathroom door, they advised me he had confessed to that but he did it because I was apparently in there trying to commit suicide. I even showed them on the night how the door could be unlocked from the outside. They did not care. I'm sorry, I can't go into any more detail, it's too upsetting. The result is, I have an arm I cannot use, my son has suffered a melt down and cannot return to school for the rest of the year and because my partner had been studying law, he ran to the police station and made false allegations. They turned up and let him take whatever he wanted, he could not even look at me. What he took was a new $2000 computer which was mine and a mobile phone which was mine. The police said they believed him and he could take what he wanted. So I have a son that cannot get past what he did and I am in immense pain waiting to have surgery I hope in the next two weeks. There is no DVO and he still continues to taunt us. The police now state that they know he is guilty but apparently he has plausible responses to everything and is refusing to be interviewed so they are unable to press charges. Our life has been ripped apart, and it is a struggle to get through each day due to the pain I endure and the nightmares I experience every night. I have gone from being a representative sports player and state manager to being on a disability pension now. Being told by the police that he will get away with everything and yet I have given them so much evidence, the physical and mental pain is just too much. They informed me that because most of this happens behind closed doors, unless they have CCTV fotage or a recording, they could not do something. I advised them that I had informed a friend 6 months prior that he was starting to become verbally abusive. He gave me a recording device. It was in my hand bag and I was able to record without him knowing the way in which he treated me one night. But my partner threw my hand bag against a wall one night and the recorder broke. My friend visited me and stated it was unlikely I could retrieve the recording. A few weeks ago I sat down determined to try to fix it and to my surprise I did. I then informed the investigating officer and he informed me that it did not pertain to the night of the DV incident, he had no interest in hearing it. I also informed him that I had been able to have my partner see my doctor for a refferal due to his anger issues, he did see a therapist and I was at that meeting and he did confess he does have anger issues and has very little patience left and he did need help. He admitted he is just like his grandfather and did not want that for himself. The therapist advised him he needed to seek the help he needs otherwise his issues will just escalate as he gets older like his grandfather. The police said they had no interest in the file even though the therapist who saw me afterwards said I needed to have my lawyer request the file as it will back up what I am saying and that she has done an assessment of him. I am an accredited counsellor myself, but yet I am in this position. Granted we are humans also and it's very easy to help others with their problems but hard when it comes to your own. I feel absolutely defeated mentally and physically and struggle as mentioned to get through each day. I am at a loss.
Helpless42 Helpless42
Dec 8, 2012