Currently In An Abusive Relationship

I have been married for 4 years, and in those 4 years I have seperated from my husband 4 times and gotten back together. I have left because he hit me, then promised never to do it again; but did. I keep falling for his promises every time, but continues to do it; each time gets worst and more frequent. I have two boys; 2 and 4 years old. My eldest son sees and hears everything, I feel bad for putting my kids through this. I don't know what to do, as every day gets worst, and it becomes more severe. Before it would just be pushing, name calling, but it's being dragged to the floor and getting slapped so many times; I end up with bruises on my hands and arms. This last time I ended up with bruises on my arms, knees, hands, shoulder... the worst part is that my 4 yro saw. He promises to not do it again, but yet he did it AGAIN. It hadn't even been 1 week before he hit me again, and more severe.
I don't know what to do, his family doesn't understand what I am going through, and refuses to help get sense into him. I don't want to tell my family because I am embarrassed.
I would like to have a happy ending for you readers, but the truth is my story doesn't have a pretty ending. I want to believe so badly that he will change for the sake of our family, but I don't think that's going to happen.
I don't want to be a single mom, and i would like it if he became a better man...I don't know what to do...
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 15, 2013

Okay. I've been in this situation as the child. my mother went through the same exact thing that you're going through now. This is what you have to do:

anytime he touches you you need to make a report to the police.that way there is always a record. You will need to get a restraining order against him after you have enough on record of him abusing you. this will only get worse, you're not going to be able to change him, he is not going to become a better man. The only way that you're going to get out of this abusive way of life is divorce. Any judge will side with you as long as you have proof on record that he is abusing you. You will be able to keep your kids. There are all kinds of programs out there that will be able to help you be on your own and support your children. this will not get better unless you leave. Trust me I've lived this and my mother has lived this.

you also need to tell your family. They are the ones that will be able to help you get through this. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You did not do anything to deserve this. Start looking for divorce lawyers now save up your money and get out while you are still able to. Trust me you will be better and happier and stronger once you are free. And once is all done and over with, you will look back on this time and wonder why did you stay as long as you did.

it's nothing else, do this for your kids. It's not a healthy relationship for them, and it's unhealthy for them to see that kind of behavior. If they continue to witness this, they will repeat a pattern and be abusive themselves. Get out and get your children out.

When you left, was it hard for you? Was it emotionally difficult? Where did you go for counseling? What helped you to not go back?

It was hard, trying to get back on our best again. Churches helped tremendously. Emotionally difficult? Not really. Better than having the crap beat out of me every night. I don't do counseling, I don't believe in psychiatrists. What helped not going back? No more abuse.