I have been with my husband for almost 7 years-married for 5. In the beginning this were great and I thought he was perfect. Typical behavior. He treated me like I was what he had been looking for his whole life. . . until we got married. Before we married I seen the jealousy and insecurities, but blew it off. In a way it made me feel protected as I had a traumatic events happen in the workplace. 2 months after we married, he became violent with me. He was drunk and pissed-off for some reason or another and put a knife to my throat threatening to kill me if I didn't tell him who I was on the phone with. Even though I told him it was his mother, he didn't believe me. Now 5 years later and things are of-course still the same. He denies any violence and actually is turning things around and making it sounds like I'm abusive when talking with others. I have done everything I can think of and more to help him, but he refuses to help himself (or me since his drinking and refusal to go to counseling ultimately affects me) and I'm tired of this roller-coaster ride of a life I'm living. I'm terrified of getting a divorce because I have been so micromanaged, but know without a doubt that is what I want especially after speaking with his ex-wife. I was hesitant to call at first, but I needed to speak with her so I knew I was not the problem. Speaking with her eased a lot of the frustration I was feeling just knowing that their marriage was a mirror image of my own, because after 18 years he has continued to do the same thing to women and has never tried to change his ways. Knowing what I know now doesn't ease the fear as much as it renews my beliefs that this is the only way things will ever change.
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2 Responses Aug 17, 2014

Leave him please!!!!! He isn't going to change. Leave or he will be the death of you

throw him out AND get a restraining order... if you can, grab all the money from any joint accounts:/

skip the charges after the fact. you could be dead then. if he's opened another a/c, he knows it's coming.

Don't wait for the next violent attack. Who knows what the next violent attack will be? It could lead to ur death. Please leave as soon as possible