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My Story

My Story is long one.  I sit and cry sometimes wondering why was I born.  Well, here is my story. I was born but given up for adoption.  My real mother could not care for me since she was deaf and mute.  All my siblings were adopted but I was also adopted for a reason (my mother was raped!) So she did not know who my father was. Anyway, I was in foster care and was adopted into a family. Everything went well until they had a child of there own.  My adoptive father abused me as a child. And my adoptive mother mentally and emotionally abused me also. I sit and  think why did this happen to me.  I am now 29 years old and have no friends because my adoptive mother never let me socialize with anyone. Nor go any where and try to have a life of my own. I never went to birthdays, nor any parties. I never went to clubs to dance and hang out with someone from school. I never had friends over to talk to. I only had myself and my radio.  My music was my only escape in my mind.

Well now I am older, I am married and have one child but, I am very lonely.  My husband works a lot to pay our bills and to be a good provider that when he comes home all he does is eat and sleep. Again I get very lonely. I think of leaving the world. No one comes to visit me, no one calls me.  I am very alone I just sometime feel like ending my own life and saying goodbye.  I always say no one will miss me (so just do it) just kill yourself and get it over with.  But, I always remember that I have a daughter to take care of. She is my pride and joy.  But, these thought keep going though my head.  I wish I was never born

Anyone please talk to me.

 

trying2Bhappy trying2Bhappy 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 14, 2007

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i know what its like to feel like that. But think of how it would be for your family to see you go, youare important and you are here for a reason. never let anything take that away from you. Your past is your past and you should learn from it and help it to make you a better person. No matter how hard your day is, it ends at midnight and everyday is a new chance at happiness. Go out and find it for yourself because it won't come easy, but when you find it you will realize you deserve so much better then to be sad. I hope it works out for you!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that is so sad and i feel so bad for you i kno in my heart that u will find the light and the door to a good life you will love your child and tell he/she that its not ok to put up with abuse u have a husband and a beautiful child what more do u need right now find the door and find the light and you will b thankful and happy that u have moved on u r a beautiful women with a beautiful life ahead of u<br />
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best of luck to u<br />
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luv,<br />
Laura <3

feel free to tell me what u think and let me know if u kno someone who needs to be redirected and needs someone to reach out to them i am always here to help and will try never to say anything negative

luv,
Laura &lt;3

Hey there. Im here to talk. Im 18 and know that your thoughts must be hard. Try to give whats best to your daughter. Let her live the life you never had. I know for sure that thats what my mom does. I hear her cry.. I know something is . But shes stays strong.. You just need somebody to talk to. Obvioulsly you know thats one thing you need. Be you. Let your daughter know that your life wont effect hers. She loves you and she is there to learn from you. Dont let those thoughts run through your head. It will take the people that love you down too. Stay strong. Im here to talk if you need it. (:

if you would like to talk ...i'm here

I am sorry that you are feeling like that, but you are right. You have a daughter to think of. Think of the pain it would cause her to grow up without a mother. Your husband would also miss you. Sometimes its the ones you leave behind that suffer the most. I understand these feeling you are having. I am having them right now and they are hard to ignore. Just know that these are just feelings and will go away. If not you always have us to talk to.

Hey you, sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad. I'm a 29 yr old F who has battled suicidal thoughts too. I also had a socially sheltered life, found strength through music, and weathered a lonely marriage. So, we have a few things in common. I'd like to talk to you.