Just Feel Like Giving Up At Times

at times i just cant help but feel like giving up and not pushing myself pointlessly anymore. i hate to admit that i have these thoughts, even ashamed because i don't think i should have them and i hate having to keep it to myself, leaving it in my head to get worse and worse, but i just can't talk about it, if i ever try i just sit there, telling myself in my head to shut up, and that the people i'm telling don't want to know, they just want an easy simple job and don't really want me there (this is on professional terms, not friends e.g councellors). i feel that suicide is an option and it always will be, i hate it when people tell me to promise them that i won't do anything, because i know that i can't promise them, then i feel even more wrong, because i can't just promise that one small thing, and it just upsets me so much.
sezy sezy
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 17, 2007

The first thing you need to know is that you're not alone in feeling like this. Especially if you've had a rough life, constant stress and tragedy, you get to the point where you're too exhausted to keep fighting. I know, I live with that every day. I'm a gamer, so I equate it to playing a video game where you know there's absolutely no way to win, and you just want to hit the reset button. It's nothing to be ashamed of.<br />
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Stop telling professional contacts (colleagues and coworkers) and start telling friends, or consider counseling. It's nice to have someone who's paid to do nothing but listen to you and understand. When you get so far down that you feel like you can't get back up, isolate yourself away from anything you could harm yourself with and just cry it out. Let yourself feel miserable for a little while, and try to get it out of your system. And then watch the sun rise or set, watch squirrels playing, or something along those lines and think about how you would have missed that beauty if you'd done anything extreme.<br />
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Above all, find at least one person you can talk to who can be there for you whenever you need it. Better is to try to form a network of support. If one person isn't available, go to the next. Keep going until you find someone to talk to who can help you get your mind off things if nothing else.<br />
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It's rough. And I won't be one of those who will tell you it'll pass and things will get better. They might, they might not. But how you deal with them CAN get better, and your outlook CAN improve. And I will say that not all of life is total crap, no matter how much it feels like it sometimes. Hang in there, and best of luck to you.