I Am That Freak At School

I have letter to color, letter to personality/gender, number to color, number to personality/gender, sound to color, taste to color, name to color, smell to color, and word to picture. Kids call me freak, wacko, psychopath, crazy, and weird. Ha, I find them quite weird. To live in a colorless world, where new sights and words don't bring new colors and shapes? Utter madness. This is my Synesthesia story:

When I was in kindergarten, they began to teach us the alphabet and counting. They had us color in a big picture of the letter they were teaching that day. It always had to be red. At first it started out fine, because A is red for me. But B is blue. By the second day of kindergarten, I was nearly thrown out for my fit after I was told to shade in my B red. I was positively livid. Kids snickered at me. First grade was worse. I had trouble adding things as simple as 6+3, for 6 was sweet and gentle, and a lovely shade of lavender. But, 3 was an ugly red hue, slightly rude, but very discriminative. My teachers thought I was "slow". As I progressed through elementary school, I noticed my sound to picture Synesthesia. In music class we listened to a violin piece, and I astounded the teacher, and made the entire class laugh at me with my sudden exclamation of "Aren't the colors lovely?!?" I was known since then as "weird". In 4th grade when my teacher asked "now, what is your name?" I unwittingly replied, "oh, candy apple red, with a touch of orange." She thought I was fooling with her, and I was in trouble for the rest of the day. Middle School brought dozens of new names, and new insults as I struggled to simply walk down the hall and ignore the millions of shapes and colors exploding insanely in my brain. I began failing math, then science, then social studies. No teacher believed me about Synesthesia. Not one. But, in Art Class I was home. I painted and drew and sculpted what I saw, titling my pieces "Anger", "Crash", "Strife", "Pain". What I saw. Sure, kids still laughed. But I felt like Me when I was creating beautiful art. I still struggle with my Synesthesia, but I think my colors are amazing. Synesthesia is just another part of who I am.
Itsabbybaybe Itsabbybaybe
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

Hi, I can't say my experience was like yours because instead of being the weirdo that saw colours at school, I was (and still am) the one that doesn't speak at all. This is mainly because, like you, some of the things I said or did relating to my synaesthesia in the past got me either in trouble or gave bullies new things to get at me with.

I think that teachers etc. need to be made more aware of what synaesthesia is, it would save some children a lot of trouble and stop them from being thought of as slow or being called weird.

Thank you for sharing this story.

great job

Why, thank you. 😀