When It's All You Can Think About, It'll Drive You MadEveryday. Every night, it's all I can think about. It's been 2 months, and I'm trying to stop. But then I remember how ashamed I feel to be me, how angry I am at myself. I need to make another scar, another lesson to myself of all the things I need to change, a reminder of all the things that go wrong, all the people that don't care. I try to remember those that care, the things that go right.
I just feel so useless, so ugly, and when my chest feels like it's collapsing on itself and I wouldn't mind falling asleep and never waking up, I think about the cold blade, the slight sting but the satisfying blood that oozes from the wound. I want that feeling so bad, but I made a promise to stop, and I'm doing all I can do to keep that promise to the couple of people that mean the world to me.