I Just Want To Feel Good!

Since the time when I am born, my parents never loved me at all. They threw me to my grandmother, and from the day that I was discharged from the hospital, I am in my grandmother's hands. Life is still okay then, at least my grandma will protect me from my parents' physical and emotional abuse, at least she will hold me when I cry, and at least I feel the warmth of her love.
When I was nine, she passed away, and my life totally changed. My father would came home angry everyday, and he would take it out on me, he hits me so hard, with anything that is within his grasp, and he asks me what he had done to deserve a child like me. He says that I am the worst girl he ever seen and that it is my fault that he gets scolded at work. My mother is no difference, she do that everyday too. And there isn't anyone to protect me anymore, I am on my own, and I resorted to cutting myself when I was only nine.
School is not any comfort to me either, I became more and more withdrawn, more and more passive, my friends drifted away from me until I barely had any. Having no friend made me feel worse, I just have to cut to get rid of the loneliness in my heart...
Yes, I use cutting to cope with, stress, sadness, loneliness, basically every bad feeling I have! I miss my grandma so much, now that she is dead, I can never feel the love ever again!

Being a child shouldn't hurt!
Kaslyne Kaslyne
18-21, F
Jul 11, 2012