Temptation

I started cutting at 13 and stopped cutting at 27, but when I'm highly upset I do still get the urge. I sometimes wonder if that will ever go away.

SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit
36-40, F
9 Responses Mar 11, 2010

Hi, in my experience, the temptation will never fully go away. It will always be there in the back of the mind, whether you are aware of it, or not. It's the same for alcoholics in AA or recovering addicts in NA or other 'such-and-such' anonymous meetings. It's just how it is, i'm sorry. I wish I could make it go away for you, myself, and everyone else who suffers from any kind of addiction. I, myself, am a recovering self-injurer and drug addict. It's difficult, and I know it is cliche but: Take it one day at a time.

Peace,

Carrie

Congratulations. I sometimes wonder that too..I've been on it since 12 or 13 and now at 17 with the urges just as strong, I wonder if it can ever dissipate or even lessen. I guess it's all about self control now!

Its a battle but you should really talk to someone really close to you that always helped me

I am really glad you have quit hurting yourself because even though it is highly dangerous it is also extremely in a way helpful but i had a friend who cut her self and she was in a lot of misery and i don't want to see people like that

Have you girls ever thought of instead of cutting yourself, getting that pain out of your insides by letting someone else "hurt" you? I put that in quotes because I hope that you wouldn't allow actual serious injury like breaking your skin or anything like that to occur. I am not a cutter, so I cannot say that I fully understand to urge. However, I do understand the need to get the pain from the inside out and that need can be quite powerful at times. Just a thought. I hope I am not offending you because that is honestly NOT my intention.

^ That's exactly how I felt when cutting- it wasn't about attention at all.

For me the urge never goes away, I just find ways to suppress it most of the time. About a week ago though I had a break and ended up hurting myself. After wards I felt really ashamed. My significant other seems to think that I did it merely for attention, but my feelings were so intense I felt like I needed a way to come down. I need to be stronger in the future and really try to fight the urge by distracting myself better, but the urge is so strong sometimes that it seems impossible to deny.

Update:<br />
I have decided that I cannot surround myself with negativity and expect to be ok. I have deleted all negative experiences from my profile (though the stories still remain) and I am only allowing myself to speak kindly to my inner self, and rise above the negative aspects of my past. It is working already. I feel better than I ever have because now I love myself. I hope that all of you who feel the way I used to feel find your happiness as well.<br />
*hugs*

I don't think it does. but just because you have the urge isn't a bad thing, seems like you're not acting on it every time anyway, nothing wrong with that.