I have everything in life i have dreamed of, to a degree, but i feel like i want to destroy it all. I have the 'perfect' guy who married me and loves me dearly. He's gorgeous, way out of my league. We've been together 10 years. There are problems in our relationship and i feel so very lonely (he's a workaholic but i feel i push him to it really). I have a beautiful house, the picture postcard house. I have a fantastic well paid job that makes me proud but also wears me to the ground sometimes. I have a fantastic family, but no kids of my own . I'm fat but i guess i could fix that if i tried. I have great hobbies and an active social life. My friends are good. I have money and love. But i wanna cry with how miserable i am, and how i don't feel like i should have any reason to feel miserable. Sometimes i question if its because i don't love my husband -but i love him with all my heart, i just question it because i don't want his children (i don't want children) - but could this be because i don't love him? I've never loved anyone like i love him, but i've never wanted kids with anyone else i don't recall. I've also had an affair, which makes me question whether i love him or if i just did that because i was bored of being a work widow.

I have no idea why i feel like this, is anyone else in this situation?

I'm 31. If that helps.
LeeHart1 LeeHart1
31-35, F
Aug 19, 2014