Okay so in my last experience i almost went into a complete rant about my luck with relationships.. or guys in general. So decided to post my rant and get it off my chest before i go insane... not that I'm completely sane already but having weight on my shoulders doesn't help in the slightest.

So back in 1st grade i met my friend Michael he was a great person. He was kind and sweet and an all around great person. so we were friends for a couple of years when at the end of 3rd grade he started to hang out with the pops more. i thought nothing of it at the time of course but it got progressively worse. So in fourth grade we were talking o the bus when i said, and i regrettably quote, "You seriously get me!" *que shuttering* What i meant it to mean was that he understood what i was going through but he took it as "you have a crush on me" when really at the time i had a crush on a 6th grader but that's beside the point. He told the whole grade that i had a crush on him and i was endlessly teased until summer break where i still cant escape him for he is one of my neighbors. *kill me now!!*

In 6th grade was the worst though. I was already getting bullied for stuff and not many people liked me because some witch i called my friend turned all of my other friends against me in 5th grade and they still believed her till 7th. (Looooooonnnnggggg story) But on the bus he had recently bleached his hair and it looked kinda orange. So he was talking about it and i spoke up (*BAKA!**facepalm*) i told him it looked kinda orange in the sunlight and he took it the wrong way and said "are you calling me a lemon head?" I shook my head and was gonna reply when Tori spoke up and told him i was calling him an orange-head. I of course tried to tell him that I was just trying to tell him the truth but he yelled at me and he said. "You know your such a lesbian." I didn't know what it was but i knew it was bad by the look on the other populars faces. they knew mike took it too far but made no effort to stop him. I found out what t was and vowed that i'd never be vulnerable like that again. I knew my best friend wasn't there anymore. he was take over by some alien force. but i knew he was long gone. That was the day i knew i lost him.

The truth is. I think i really did develop feelings for him. Its pathetic actually. The guy who treats me like crap is the guy i like. Sometimes i hate my heart because i forgive too easily. I hope that hes still there somewhere. but its touchy. And luck was certainly not on my side when we had the square dancing unit during gym class. I of course get stuck with Michael when we had to do the lesson. I tried to apologize but he ignored me. I'm pretty sure my heart broke when he said that he would rather be tortured than be there. I'm still not really over it. It just hurts.

Now My friends dolled me up for the last dance of the 8th grade school year. They picked out my dress and did my hair and makeup. I admit i looked decent but i can never compare to anyone in my school. They're all pretty and skinny, or unique and beautiful. I'm kinda plain. but any ways. We went to the dance in separate cars and my dad being my dad made us bring the corvette. You'd never believe the faces of all the guys when a sleek red 2003 Chevy Corvette Zo6 rolled into the parking lot with Highway to Hell by ACDC blasting through it. I was embarrassed beyond belief. I hopped out and ran inside as fast as i could. We took a hell of a lot of pictures then went into the dance section. Now I've never been the one to complain but i'm sure i looked like a fire truck then my date came up to me and wrapped his arm around mine. I was pretty sure he had forgotten he even asked me but here he was. I have to admit. i kinda regret saying yes to being (lets call him mark because i don't want to say his name.) Marks boyfriend. He was nice and all but i could tell he didn't really like me like that. We go back out to dance and of course Michael comes up and dances right next to me. I have to admit hes a great dancer, but i wasn't a fan of how when no one was looking he would 'accidentally' bump me into my friends as they were trying to get me into the middle to dance with 'mark'. I managed to get away.

Now me and 'mark were happy for like a week when out of the blue he started avoiding me and broke up with me three days after. I guess i was expecting it but i curse fate because barely three days later he shows up at my friends party and claims that he never wanted to break up with me. I of course said okay and we were magically together again. and it all went downhill from there. So as y'all know He asked me to be his girlfriend again. So my grandfather broke his hip and i told him i would't be able to talk much because we were always with him in the hospital but we were texting and i woke up and there was a text from him. Figures that on the day my grandfather goes into a life threatening surgery he breaks up with me over text. He said that we never talk and it's not working out but he knew that I hadn't had my phone on me because i was with my ($ year old grandfather who just broke his hip for the second time and going into a very risky surgery. For Three days he returned none of my texts and when he did he asked for my dads phone number because his dad needed it. then two days later he breaks up with me over text.

And whats worse is that my parents got divorced (NO SYMPATHY PLEASE) and it figures that my mother had to get the house that was literally right next door to 'Mark' STUPID BAD LUCK. I don't know what it is with me and falling for my neighbors. :( Oh well. I just hope that some day ill find someone.

I did not write this to get any sympathy. nor do i want it. I just needed to get it off of my chest. i don't mean to sound whiny or witchy if that's what you got out of it. So please dont comment with "i'm sorry" or "your just being whiney and stuck up" Thanks for taking the time for reading this. :]
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Aug 25, 2014