I Want To Die

I have been having depression since i was 14, every relationship i have been in seems to make the pain worse and worse, sure it goes away when i'm having fun but that almost never happens. I'm now married and thing where great but now we fight all the time it seems and every time we do he says he hopes i die or threatens to kill me, i have no reason left to live. I can't leave him because i would rather die then be alone. He lies to me all the time now and he takes off like today and never says where he is going or when he will be home. It would be easy to just kill myself, he wants it that way and so does his family. It would be so easy, i could take lots of pills and sleeping pills then just go make my self a nice warm bath and i would just fall asleep and never wake up. The only reason i haven't yet is because of my mother but pretty soon the pain will get to the point where that won't even matter.
dark23 dark23
18-21, F
Jan 18, 2013