Every night go to sleep, I wish that I would never wake up.
lamiavarc lamiavarc
18-21, F
8 Responses Aug 17, 2014

i used to feel that, Walk on, be strong.
Never know you might walk into a rainbow one day

That's not good we need gals around to keep us on our tord

Honey, dont say that. You are so young you havent lived yet. I am not trying to down play your feelings,but you dont know about the wonderful things waiting to happen.Hang there,seek the beauty and joy. Please talk to an adult about how you are feeling. Get some help.

It's not the physical death that you wish for. It's the mental hell and pain that Needs to die. I face the thought that the world would be better off without me more often these days.


There's only one factor that stops me from doing. Two years ago my dad commuted suicide. It's like he took a shotgun to all of us in our heart and soul.

I can't do the same thing to my family , my husband or to my step-son.

I do that when I'm angry. Sometimes I wish I could hurt God as much as I feel hurt. I think the only think that would tick God off is if we were all indifferent to whatever God is. Just ignore God and his buddy the devil. I mean if God likes to be worshipped what better way to make him feel the anger I have with him than to just ignore him??

Hey, I know how you feel, I used to feel that way too, still do sometimes, hey um if you feel like you need to talk to someone I'm here, just msg me if you're interested? : )

Same, going through it right now actually

I don't want to hurt the ones I love. But it keeps hurting me.

What keeps hurting you, depression?

My mom. She has been cheating on my dad for over 20 years. She got pregnant. Then got an abortion. We can't afford a divorce so I'm stuck with her. It's making me depressed. So yeah I guess depression. And I'm on anxiety meds. One of the side affects are suicidal thoughts.

Omg /: I hate most people... You seem like a good person. Anxiety meds aren't good for you, really my sis was on them and she warned me to never ever try them. I've been tested for adhd depression and anxiety. They all suck... What's worse is I'm living in a house with two drug addicts as parents. So I can't really help you by giving you an answer ): I'm sorry

How bad is your anxiety?

I'm not sure how to judge how bad my anxiety is. I haven't been showing up to school because I'm afraid to. The kids at school make fun of me for my religion. One kid threw a milk carton at my head and told me to kill myself to find out my religion wasn't real. My mom is always cheating on my dad. But my life sounds like a walk in the park compared to yours! I'm sorry about you parents :/

I'm sure out lives are comparable. Like I have this wonderful sister that does everything my mother should do but doesn't. She's really my mother. Which sounds weird, but having adhd as to where you it's much harder to pay attention in class and I sometimes blurt stuff out that isn't... Well... Normal words, I guess. But I still can make good grades now. Having anxiety completely just sucks, my face always gets red /: and also my chest will hurt. Having depression is the worst, before always wanting to die every second of everyday, but despite all of that, exercising has helped me a lot. Before I could even hold a conversation with anyone and now I can talk to certain people. It's lightened my depression up by a lot. It's just now becoming stronger because my 18th birthday is coming up /: my day that I've planned to stop participating in life. Also I really don't want to go back to school. Oh and believe in whatever you want (: really, no one can take that from you.

Exclude "you"

5 More Responses

I want to commit suicide. But not die. I want to live my life and get married and have kids. I just want to commit suicide.

I know exactly how u feel it's like u can't get away from it

I know. It's like a double-think. I want to commit suicide- but I don't want to die. It's messed up and I feel like I'm going insane.

I'm religious. I'm a strong christian. The thought of suicide came into my head because some kid threw a milk carton at my head and told me to kill myself to find out god wasn't real. I want to curl up in a ball and die. But I don't want to commit suicide. That is one of the un-forgiving sin. Which is the only thing keeping me back.