I Thought It Was Over

But it came back lately. I don't think I will do it, but I want to leave this world so badly. I feel so lost, so alone.

VincentValentine VincentValentine
31-35, M
8 Responses Aug 12, 2009

how have yu attempted to die

I didn't attempt it, I only thought about it, and as you can see by the date on the story it was a long time ago.

Alcohol will bring you down further into the darkness. It makes you feel ok at first, but it really causes your seratonin to uptake (which makes you feel sad). Doctors give people anti-depressants (seratonin re-uptake inhibitors or SSRI's). I was on anti-depressants for a year after I tried to kill myself. I also started seeing a naturopathic doctor about my nutrition and she asked me if I get enough sunlight during the day. Not possible since I work at night and I play MMO's the rest of the time, since I'm reclusive. She put me on 5000iu Vitamin D3 per day and my symptoms disappeared. No side effects. The anti-depressants have bad side effects and they only clamp your emotions down so you don't feel anything. Please, if you don't get a lot of sunlight, look into taking Vitamin D. The Big Pharma companies all want everybody on some kind of subsc<x>ription medication, but that's a scam - use it to get stable and then GET OFF IT!

i feel so suicidal too but it's my fault i'm stuck in this addiction of alcoholism if i don't kill myself the alcohol will and i have a son :( who's not with me atm i feel like i am in hell atm i feel like cutting my wrists i'm not drinking tonight but have really bad depression and high anxiety i couldnt kill myself i have a son and it would kill those around me to find me dead.like i really want to die but i couldnt put everyone around me through it

are you still having those thoughts? I hope not. i firmly believe in this theory: What you are thinking about in the moment of your death is where your spirit shall go after death(this is supposed to work for humans - I don't know about incarnated angels). Do you know about buddhist priests that constantly practice meditation for decades just to be able to achieve 12 seconds of perfect concentration?... so that they can achieve this concentration and think of God in the moment of their death on Earth, and be united with him afterwards ? and they are then also able to choose the moment of their death voluntarily.<br />
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my uncle killed himself 2 years ago - hanged himself and now i believe he is trying to communicate with me as he is obviously stuck on the astral level. i am not very pleased with his turning to me for help or whatever, because I feel his presence in the form of mild choking feeling in my neck and some weird redness of skin on my neck(the redness manifests in the shape of a rope around my neck, together with this choking feeling). sometimes I also feel a headache, toghether with all of this. I just keep saying to him that he should go to the light and that I can't help him. Last weekend he was annoying as hell, so I asked archangel Michael to permanently remove my uncle's presence from my surroundings at least for a couple of years until I figure out a way to help him.<br />
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So, my advice - don't attempt suicide my friend, because if you do it, you just might end up harassing your family members like my uncle. it is better to use the buddhist priest method - much safer.

That's okay, sometimes a little sympathy can go a long way.

Same!<br />
i feel really bad all the time and would love to die<br />
i would love to give you some good helpful advice but to be honest i dont really have any.

hehe 'shiny plastic people' that got a smile out of me. <br />
<br />
Thanks for the advice as well.

Depression stinks. Everyone goes through it, even the shiny happy plastic people that always seem happy. That's a helpful thing to remember when I start feeling slumpy - everyone goes through it. You don't deserve to, but it happens, and I'm sorry that that's the way that life is. But the amazing awesome thing is that you are stronger than this and you can overcome it.<br />
Here are things that work for me:<br />
Meditate. Be aware of yourself. Think about what you're doing right this second. Be alone with your thoughts, and be at peace.<br />
Breathe. <br />
Take walks. <br />
Break off everything that hurts you, recognize what puts you into a slump, and edge away from it.