My First Attempt

So seriously guys...it looks like a great way to go out...take a handful pills, and slip into a deep sleep...WELL...let me tell you first hand it's not at all that glamorous..first off, your body immediately  tries to get it out..by that I mean you start vomiting terribly.  Oh and then there's the diarrhea.  So, within an hour of taking a handful of Valium I was laying in my bathroom naked, because I was so damn hot puking into the tub and ******** my guts out on the toilet.  I didn't care..I wanted to die...I would have had my fiance not came home...I was so out of it, I kept telling him I wanted the 'nice guy'..not him (which is funny b/c he's the nicest guy I've ever met...

I know where your at..I was there for years...Let me please say this, IT'S ALL A MEMORY NOW...one that I dont even like to go back to..I was so hopeless and just wanted to die..I had NOBODY...Or so I thought...I was addicted to pain pills, and had debt that consumed me. I was cheating on my fiance with his best friend, and in such a depression I thought that my world was done..and that if I could just get out, everyone would be better off...

Now, 12 years later I am so freaking happy with my life...I couldn't imagine had that time worked what I would have missed...the good and the bad..because it's life, and you have both..It's just so much easier now to deal things..the stuff I once let consume me, I don't even think twice about now..You need to seek professional help.  I DID!  It saved my life.  I got off the pills, broke it off with my fiance...I now have a beautiful family great kids, a nice house..but I still have problems too..They just don't make me want to kill myself anymore.  

please don't ever think that's no light at the end of the tunnel, because there is.  some days it may be worse than others, and then some it may not be bad at all..but honestly, it's NEVER worth dying over.  
 
If you ever need an ear from some who been through it all...please i'm only a message away..HANG IN THERE!