Feet Tortured By Tickle Expert

I'm a guy but the soles of my feet are horribly ticklish.
I can be forced to pee myself and even have *******
if its done long enough, which is embarrassing!

OK, I do love to laugh and I like it when other people make
me laugh- a LOT! I feel a release of tension and its very
kool to allow my body to "go nuts" without being able
to control myself.

Like I met a dude over the internet who is from Miami. He is
big into tickling guys so we chatted awhile, then agreed
to meet. He was looking for a genuinely ticklish male
"subject" to satisfy his raging foot tickling fetish and I was
hoping for some really hard laughter to soothe feelings of
depression I'd been having.

"Richard" is a hunky 6 foot 2 blonde guy in his late 20s with
big muscles and razor stubble. Soon as he opened his door
and saw me he got this "hungry" look in his eyes that kind
of freaked me out at first. But it was kool, even though I'm
not partial to blondes. After all, I was there to get some way
crazy laughs forced out of me. I already had a boyfriend.

"Wow!" Richard said. "You weren't kidding when you text
me you were skinny, dude- what do you weigh - let me see...
and he picked me up under my arms like a baby. "OK" I
said, "You can put me down- I weigh 115#". Richard
grinned at me like the coyote drooling over the Road
Runner. His blue eyes looked me over from my long hair &
dark tanned shoulders in my tank top, then on down past
my cargo shorts to my thin, brown legs. His gaze fixed at
last on my bare feet, which he stared at for a long moment.

We went in his apartment and sat on the couch. "Dude you
walk here from your car barefoot?" He asked. "I walk most
everwhere barefoot" I replied. "But don't worry, my feet stay
very soft-you won't find any calluses on my soles." "Mind if
I check 'em out, please?" Richard begged. I grinned and
put my boney bare feet up in his lap. "Help yourself, man!"
I invited. "Hope they meet with your approval." Richard
looked closely at my 2 size 9 feet in front of him on his lap.
"Mmm-mmm!" he whispered. "Dark tanned tops with pinkish-
white, silky soles and stubby little toes...yep, your feet are
incredibly CUTE- looks like a kid's feet!" I smiled and replied:
"I've had lots of people say that- its just how I'm made."

I left my bare feet in Richard's lap for a moment and he pulled
my toes back. As he stretched the little tendon that goes up
the arches of my feet when they are flexed showed white
in the middle of the bottom. "Too Kool!" exclaimed Richard,
"Look, this is SO HOT!" "I know, I know they always do that-
WHOA!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!WAIT!!!" I giggled as he stroked
one finger gently up the silky tendon. I tried to jerk my foot
away but Richard held onto it with his big hands.

"Is it fun, Kevin?" He grinned. "Yeah-heeheehee." Richard started
to rub both my soles lightly and it tickled. I wiggled my toes and
giggled again. "Hahahaheehee- that's why I'm here. Laughing is
really good for me. I'm no little kid even though I'm kid-sized, but I
can be forced to laugh like a kid 'cause I can't stand to be tickled."
This I said casually but my heart was thumping in anticipation of
what was coming. I realized this young hunky guy was gonna tie
me down and tickle me to pieces. His big hands felt hot as they
rubbed my soft pink soles. I laid back on the couch, closed my
eyes and began to breathe deeply. "Ahhhh-heeheeheehaha!" I
giggled and curled my tanned toes.

"Damn, does me rubbing your foot bottoms feel THAT good?"
Richard asked, grinning. "Oh YEAH dude- it tickles already
but it feels AWESOME!" I sighed, enjoying my massage. "I swear
you look and sound about 12 years old." Richard said. "You're
so tiny- what's your waist size anyhow?" "These shorts are size
22 waist- I have to buy size 14 boy's to get 'em small enough."
I sighed again, flexing my tender arches in his warm hands.
"Look dude, I can put my thumb and forefinger completely
around your ankles, they're so little!" exclaimed Richard, holding
up my leg in his huge hand to show me. "Yeahman, I'm compact
in size- I can't help it- sorry if you like bigger guys." I said.

"Oh NOOOO!!!" Richard cooed, holding up both my tanned ankles
in one hand. "No way, Kevin you're PERFECT dude- I mean it."
He rubbed my feet for several more minutes til they were warm
as his hot hands, then he asked: "OK, Kevin- is that what you like
to be called? What do your close friends call you?" I grinned from
Richard's ticklish rubbing. Because he had a gentle manner I was
beginning to like him, and because I was letting him have complete
control over me, body and mind, when he tied me down I was going
to have to trust him! "My friends either call me Kevy or Jon-Boy
'cause Jonathan is my middle name". "Oh kool- Jon Boy!" Richard
grinned. "That's way sexy- Jon Boy- I'll call you that", he exclaimed.
"I have to say you look like a 12 year-old Jon Boy".

"How 'bout you, Richard? You like to be called Rick, Ricky or ****?"
I giggled and noticed a conspicuous erection forming in my new
friend's gym shorts. The situation or me was definitely causing him
to get aroused, and he giggled back as he looked me over from head
to toe, again staring closely at my bare feet. He answered as if he was
deep in thought: "Oh no- not ****-not never- hahahaha- Ricky's kool,
its fine- all my friends call me Ricky". "OK Ricky, so you want to know
anything more about me before you have me laughing so hard I
can't talk?" I asked.

"Uh, well yes" Ricky whispered softly. "I'm finding out you are
extremely sensitive, so do we need to use a "safe word" to make me
stop if the tickling gets too much?" The growing bulge in Ricky's
shorts had turned into a full-fledged ***** with a dark spot of precum
on the grey silk. It looked as if the beast was going to burst through
the fabric any minute."Ricky, look," I said, "Its been all I can do to stand
letting you rub my feet a little just now right here. I'm deathly ticklish
on my feet so from the very first moment its gonna be 'too much' for
me, so if you gave me a safe word I'd scream it out in 2 seconds".

"Since you gonna tie me down anyway you'll have complete control over
my body, so you gonna have to watch me that I don't lose my breath.
If I start silent laughing and can't breathe you'll have to give me a break
or I'll pass out. Its happened before with people who got carried away.
Remember I'll be pleading with you to stop the whole time because I'll
be in terrible agony, but you have to go ahead and keep tickling 'cause
its the only way to get me to the point of going hysterical." I explained.
"You have to tickle me past that so I get real healing of my depression,
but it won't be hard- my soles are so sensitive I go completely nuts."

"Oh my God," moaned Ricky, rubbing his swollen, throbbing crotch.
"Are you serious- I mean really- its that bad?" he closed his eyes and
gulped. "Yeah, you're probably gonna find out I'm the most ticklish guy
you ever played with cause everybody tells me that." I confessed. My
heart was pounding with excitement as I heard Ricky sigh and catch his
breath. "Geez little Jon Boy," he croaked, "are you sure about this?"

I let out a nervous giggle. "N-No- heeheehee- I'm never sure about being
tickle tortured 'cause when its being done I know its gonna kill me and I
get scared its going too far. But I will say this. When you're doin' me and
I'm goin' completely ape **** crying and pleading for mercy you may feel
so sorry for me you'll stop. But I always go bonkers and scream anything to
stop the tickling because its driving me wild, but that's when its KOOL! So
if you stop torturing me right then soon as I catch my breath I'm gonna be
pissed and yell: "Why'd you stop for? You had me goin' over the edge!"
So I'm tellin' you just ignore my crying and pleading and KEEP DOIN' ME.
Then you will get my insane reactions and I'll get the incredible rush!"

Ricky was sweating and breathing heavily already and the precum stain on
his shorts was large and shiny over his erection. "WHEW! OK, hold up Jon-
I'll be right back" he said and disappeared into the next room. In 1 minute
he came back shirtless wearing a new pair of silky white gym shorts. Even
though he was big, Ricky looked cute barefoot in shorts only and he had
a nice tan, though nowhere near as dark as mine.

"OK, Jon Boy let's try ya out." Ricky ordered and I padded after him into the
opposite room. Somebody had painted the walls like Poe's "Pit and the
Pendulum", black with red hooded figures crouching with boney fingers
outstretched. There were black curtains and a big mirror on the ceiling. It
was totally kinky kool! "AWESOME torture chamber!" I exclaimed. "Glad you
like it, slave!" Ricky intoned in his best Boris Karloff voice. Far as furniture
the room contained a large dark blue futon, a small chest of drawers and a
plush, overstuffed chair pulled up to the end of the futon. I noticed 2 heavy
black leather wrist cuffs hanging from the top rail of the futon. "You better
take your shirt and shorts off" advised Ricky. "Oh yeah" I grunted. "I gonna
get pretty sweaty in a few minutes." I saw out the one black curtained
window that it was a vacant field next door. No nosy neighbors on that side!

I ******** off & tossed my tank top, dropped my cargo shorts and stepped
out of them, leaving me wearing only my tiny purple bikini briefs. Ricky
stopped his preparations, stared at me and grinned. "Hey Jon Boy- lose
those undies too!" he forcefully demanded. My breath caught in my throat
but I croaked "Y-Yes, Master", slipped my bikinis down and kicked them off.
Ricky stared at me, naked and vulnerable, my skinny ribcage showing through
my dark tanned, flat chest, my protruding hip bones and slender bowlegs with
such a look of pure lust that I thought my heart would leap out of my mouth.
Once again he stared at my boney ankles and bare feet. "Whhheeewww!" he
whistled. "I've never had any 18 year-olds who were half as cute as you!" All
I could do was gulp "Th-Thank You..." I was so scared I could hardly breathe!

As Ricky got things ready I stood there in the buff, thinking a million thoughts.
Fears were going through my mind, like here I was about to let a man I'd just
met tie my sensitive little body down so I'd be totally helpless for as long as
he decided to keep me there. I hadn't told anyone where I was going, and the
neighborhood looked deserted...even if I screamed loud maybe nobody would
hear, IF I needed to scream! And I had to depend on Ricky to be responsible
enough not to literally tickle torture me to death; which under certain conditions
could possibly happen. It HAD come near happening twice before when some
drunk friends of mine tied me down and got completely carried away. I shivered
at the thought of it, even though the room was warm...

I was 19 the first time. I had been to a pool party and had been swimming all
afternoon in my Speedos. I was even smaller back then weighing only 98 pounds.
Anyhow 2 buddies of mine from school were drunk and called 4 of their friends
I didn't know over to the bar. I saw them talking together and giggling, then
Rusty, who I knew, yelled: "Hey Jon Boy, get out and come over here- I got some
friends I want you to meet!" I jumped out the pool and padded over to where
Rusty and the other 5 were talking. Rusty said "I want you to meet Josh, Zack,
Tom and Davey. You already know Jeff." We shook hands all around and they
were all 4 much bigger guys. Rusty & Jeff just grinned but the other 4 new dudes
were staring at me kinda weird. I tried to get back in the pool but all 6 of them
grabbed me, picking me up by my arms and legs.

"OK guys, what you doin' now?" I asked, knowing what jokers Rusty and Jeff
could be. By that time it was late and everyone else had left. "You find out!"
Jeff giggled, and they carried all 98 pounds of me into a bedroom, dropped me
on a king sized bed, then the 4 new guys sat on me. They were all like 175# so
I couldn't move. I tried to look around, then saw Rusty and Jeff dragging 4 big
leather cuffs with chains over to the bed. "AWWWW NO!!!" I screamed. "RUSTY
NOT THAT!!!PLEEEASE!!!" but they all just giggled. In 10 seconds I was stretched
spread eagle to the bed with my Speedos pulled off, naked and incredibly tender
from all day swimming in the sun. I remember some of what happened over the
next 10 hours, mostly pee-ing & laughing til I passed out from 6 guys tickling me
all over and being forced to ********* 11 TIMES. At least that's what they told me.
I stood there shaking and terrified, then jumped as Ricky spoke:

"Hey Jon Boy! OK Jon Boy, sit here, dude!" He had a large beach towel
across the flat part of the futon cushion and I sat my small bare butt down
on the middle of it. He said "Now hold your arms up here straight, please."
I reached both arms out above my head and Ricky buckled my wrists into the
heavy leather cuffs. Then he stretched my arms to each side of the top rail as
far as they would go and fastened the straps so my chest and arm muscles
flexed, making my armpits very deep. I saw this and laid my head back on
the futon, thinking "OMG he could also torture me to death under my arms!"
Suddenly, either out of fear or excitement of being helplessly tied down by
a cute young guy my suntanned **** sprang erect. At that point I didn't want
Ricky to notice my *****. I knew from experience it would almost always go
soft during the torture, but if he got the idea to ********* me BEFORE tickling
me I'd be so sensitive I could die from being tickled. I had just met Ricky but he
had the power to turn me into an absolute squealing, slobbering nutjob.

Ricky inspected his handywork, saw my erection and grinned. "Yeah,
me too", he said, and I noticed his prominent bulge. "Hey, you get naked
too, man!" I said, so Ricky slid his shorts down and kicked them off. He
was wearing no undies and his **** sprang up rock hard. Ricky turned
to me and jacked himself, making kissing sounds, and I noticed a drop
of precum appear on his **** hole. I giggled and he ordered "OK Jon
Boy put both your feet up here on the back of the chair." I lifted my legs
and placed my ankles on top of the plush chair cushion, then Ricky
pulled 2 more leather cuffs up and buckled my skinny ankles securely.
Then he said "OK, try to move around." I lifted my butt off the futon and
wiggled my legs a bit. Ricky frowned and mumbled "Nope, still too much
slack." He tightened the straps on the ankle cuffs until I couldn't move my
lower legs at all. He had me so tight I could just move my fingers and toes
a bit and raise my butt up a little. I tried the cuffs. No escape. He could
have held King Kong on that futon with those suckers! I was dog meat.

I was a bundle of nerves so I laid my head back on the futon and shut my
eyes. Ricky saw me, came over and sat down beside me. He noticed I was
breathing hard so he laid his big hot hand on my small, boney chest. "Jon
Boy!" he exclaimed. "Your heart is pounding like a trip hammer- are you OK
lil' dude?" My mouth was dry. I gulped: "Its OK, I'm just really scared is all-
could I have something to drink please?" Ricky smiled. "Awesome! Scary
is kool, man!" and went out of the room. He returned in 2 minutes with a bottle
of Captain Morgan rum and a glass of ice. He poured the glass full
of rum and held it to my lips. It was fiery but good and I drank it straight
down. It wouldn't dull the torture I was about to endure but the sting
of the liquor gave me a bit more confidence, and if anything it made
my raging ***** that much stiffer. Ricky set the bottle and glass down, then
stared at my **** and grinned. "Seems a shame to let that go to waste,
doesn't it?" he said, and sat back down on the futon beside me. Ricky picked
up the bottle and poured another glass of rum, then held it to my mouth.
I thought he was talking about the rum and said "Yeah, we shouldn't
waste it", and I gulped the whole glassful at once. "OK, if you say so, baby"
Ricky exclaimed and put the bottle down. Then he reached over with
his big warm hand and started jacking me off!

It took me totally by surprise as I tried vainly to struggle sideways, but
I couldn't move my butt out from under his big stroking hand. "RICKY!!!
DON'T!!!" I screamed as I strained against the straps. "PLEASE NOOO!!!"
Ricky stopped and looked at me quizically. "What, Jon Boy? You said
we shouldn't waste a perfectly good *****!" I was beside myself, wild-
eyed and panicky. "NO!!! I thought you meant the RUM!!" I yelled. Ricky
stared at my **** and laughed. "Oh ****- OK I get you now, dude- I'm
sorry. Its just such a CUTE lil' ****** though, I couldn't resist!" We both
laughed, then Ricky stood up and walked to a closet. He opened the door
and brought out a tripod with a video camera, which he moved down and
aimed at the top of the chair. "Hey dude!" I yelled. "Please don't video me
being tickled, man- I'm afraid it will get on YouTube- its so embarrassing!"
Ricky looked at me and smiled. "Its OK, Jon Boy, its only gonna show me
ticklin' your cute lil' feet and record your laughter. Besides that its only for
my own use, I never post any of my "victims" on YouTube, I just save
these to whack off to later." "Oh, OK then-its alright I guess." I sighed,
powerless to do anything else but sit there waiting & breathing heavily.

I heard a click as Ricky turned on the camera and the hum of the motor
indicated it was filming my helpless bare feet. Ricky went and sat down
on the chair, wiped my bare feet with a wet rag, then began squirting
lotion on my soles and rubbing it in. "OH ****, DAMMIT!HAHAHAHA!!!"
I laughed, savagely clenching my toes:"HEEHEEHAHAHA!!! Please don't
put that on me HAHAHAHAHA!!! Ricky! my feet are too ticklish already!
HAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEE!!! PLEASE!!!" Ricky only rubbed harder, and
looked at me with an evil grin. "Jon Boy as of now I am Master and you
are slave, and I get to do anything I want with your sexy lil' bare tootsies."
"That's why you're tied down... hee hee hee- remember?" "And you think I
don't know why you got so scared when I started jackin' you off?" I'm
a Tickle Top, dude." "I been ticklin' guys for years. Most big dudes I jack
'em off til they *** first so they are extra sensitive to my torture. You
seem to be ticklish enough I don't need to do that, but-we shall see, OK?"
I gulped as my ***** almost immediately went soft. I knew if Ricky would
have made me *** first then started tickling me I would be so post
*********** sensitive I would go into seizures and pass out in no time.
"Th-thanks, dude." I croaked, realizing just how vulnerable I was. He
could have easily kept on jacking me, no matter how much I screamed.
"Oh by the way, both apartments next to mine are empty, so you can yell
your head off and nobody will come rescue you- heeheehee!"he teased.

Ricky had me giggling with his rubbing in the lotion, and I was scared:
"HAHAHAHA!- ooohh you wicked Mother ******!! HEEHEEHEE!!! THAT'S
ENOUGH!!!HAHAHAHA!!! DAMN YOU!!!" Suddenly Ricky scratched my arch
with his fingernail, sending what felt like an electric shock through my leg
up my spine to my brain. "YEEEAAAHHHHH!!!NOOOOO!!!PLEEEASE!!!" I
squealed. "OK, Jon Boy, its not nice to cuss your Daddy, and that's what
I am to you until I'm done, right? Even though you're older it don't matter.
In this scene I'M your daddy and YOU are my lil' tickle boy, see- just as long
as I feel like keeping you here!" Ricky scratched my silky white arch again
to emphasize his total"authority".

It felt so intense I realized Ricky could make me say or do anything, including
calling him "Daddy" if that's what he wanted. I was amazed how much it was
tickling me already so when he finished rubbing in the lotion and was wiping
his hands I began to beg: "PLEEEASE DADDEE, IT TICKLES SO BAD!!

Ricky looked at me like I was a 5- year- old whiner. "OK little Jon Boy, I'll go
easy honey." He walked over to the chest of drawers, pulled open the top
drawer and took out a handful of different color feathers. He looked them
over a few seconds, then picked out 2 about 8 inches long with black and
grey stripes. I vainly pulled at the cuffs while I watched Ricky smile at me and
come over and sit down. He grinned wickedly, then began lightly stroking across
the sole of my right foot with one of the feathers. "Is THIS going easy enough,
baby boy?" he taunted, staring intently as he stroked the feather up and down
my stretched tendon while holding my toes back. Like an artist absorbed in a
masterpiece, Ricky steadily worked the feather on my silky arch, a determined
smile on his face while he completely ignored my tortured anguish. Meantime

The feather felt like ants were crawling back and forth across my sensitive foot
bottom. Ricky chose those feathers because he knew they would drive me crazy,
but my raving did nothing but encourage Ricky more. He teased and taunted me,
going "GOOCHIE GOOCHIE lil' tickle baby!" Ricky used the feathers first on one
foot, then the other til he had me laughing really hard. Then he went to using both
feathers on both feet which made me go into hysterics. "YAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!

I clenched my poor suffering toes as hard as I could, but Ricky just pulled them
back and kept tickling. On and on it went until I was a quivering mass of squealing,
juvenile hysteria. My howling, cackling laughter turned Ricky into a kinky maniac.
He was into tickling guys' feet in a huge way, and my horrible agony and shrieking,
childlike submission to his torments had him aroused beyond belief. It was as if his
tickling of my bare soles until I laughed & screamed for mercy over and over was the
supreme goal of his entire life. As for me I had no doubt that he would "win" over my
struggling, tied-down body. Next Ricky tickled my feet with brushes, making me
"silent laugh" because I was out of breath, but he didn't let up til I was close to the
edge of passing out. Then he let me gasp for air a few seconds and went right back
to it. Guess it was my fault for being so damned ticklish, but I was sure I would die!

After over 3 hours of shrieking torment the naked man I saw in the mirror above me
was one hot mess. I had peed on the towel at least twice. The blue futon was streaked
with snot flying out my nose from me shaking my head & crying. My hair was strung
all over and matted and my armpits reeked with pouring sweat from my exertions. In
the first 10 or 15 minutes I was sure it was tickling so bad I could never take it and live,
so I tried, while laughing hysterically, to pull my hands and feet free of the cuffs. I don't
remember exactly when, but around 30 minutes into it when Ricky made me pee the
first time, I came to the realization that I could never get away and he positively WAS
NOT GOING TO STOP. It was around that moment I abandoned myself to total hysteria,
and an hour or two later that Ricky "won" by tickling me past the edge of insanity.

Finally as I watched dumbly through my tears Ricky got up and turned around. His
huge ***** stood stiff and shiny with precum dripping, then he tickled both my feet
with the nails of one hand while jacking himself off with his other. His nails on my
tender soles made me lose it completely again, of course, which is just what Ricky
I squealed and shrieked. "NOOOO!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! PLEEEASE!!!

In a laughing daze I saw Ricky panting, then heard him grunt "OHHH YOU DAMN
HOT LIL' TICKLISH BAYBEE!!! GOOCHIE GOOCHIE!!!" I laughed even harder, then in my
wild hysteria I watched him ***. Long hot ropes of his **** shot out onto my wiggling bare
feet and the futon as he kept scratching my soles without mercy, while I squealed like a girl.

Finally I saw Ricky slump down in the chair, panting & dripping sweat. Then the next
minute he jumped up, ran around the futon and sat down next to me. I was gasping for
breath, totally exhausted from hours of insane forced laughter. I was a complete wreck.
"Wheeeee, you the hottest lil' ticklish baby boy I EVER had!" he shouted, giggling.
"Now you got a GOOD ONE comin' to YOU from DADDY!!" I was still panting for breath,
soaked with sweat and trying to clear my vision, but Ricky pulled out a white plastic bottle,
squirted lotion on my **** and started jacking me. "OOOOHHHHNOOO!!!" I moaned, way
sensitive from all the severe tickling and laughter. "WAIT!!!PLEEASE!!! DADDEEE DON'T!!!"
I begged, thinking Ricky planned to make me *** then tickle me right after. It would be so
horrible I'd lose all my senses and pass out. "PLEEEASE!!!NOOO!!! DON'T MAKE ME ***!!!"

But Ricky had such an awesome climax he was determined to pay me back, so when
he had made me rock hard he took my **** in his mouth, then proceeded to grab
my short ribs on both sides of my tiny belly and TICKLE. "YAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
My lower ribs are almost as terribly ticklish as my feet, and in my weak, super stimulated
condition I didn't stand a chance. He made me laugh hard again for about 2 minutes, actually
feeling more like a scared, exhausted twelve- year- old than a grown man at that moment.
a schoolboy I couldn't hold myself and had to surrender to Ricky's expert tongue, as he
forced me to a long, screaming ******. "YAAAAHHHH!!!OHHHH!!!AAAAHHHH!!!OOHHHHH!!!

Ricky was great, a pure expert at stimulating the male body to dizzying heights of pleasure.
I wiggled and squealed as he sucked down my ***, and the wicked ****** tickled up my
*** with his finger to be sure he kept my tank squirting on and on til it was empty. I had no
choice but to let go and enjoy it. The agony of being cuffed hand and foot, mixed with the
ecstasy of being helplessly forced to *********** by the hot hands and mouth of a cute
young hunk, totally out of my control, was too much for me. As my ****** finally ended,
my body and mind having been tickled to exhaustion for hours, I finally passed out.
kulshady kulshady
41-45, M
1 Response Jul 2, 2013

Kulshady, I didn't notice right away that you were the author of this but thought of you all the way through this wonderful experience.

You know that you and I share this beautiful curse and I couldn't help but to enjoy a few self-administered ministrations with myself as I read.

I too see a guy named Rick and he is a very adept gent in the art of bondage and once I am bound, I am his to do with as he pleases. . . and his pleasures are always taking me to new heights orally as he tickle tortures me. He can reach my insanely ticklish soles or my hip bones that are almost
As ticklish as my soles.

Too kool! I had you in mind when I wrote it down too.
I think ultra ticklish guys are kind of a unique fraternity,
because only through experience can you know the
awesome pleasure/pain of it!